Precious Cargo: More Important Than Any Text

Before I became a mother, I don't think I looked at driving the same way I do today. Of course I knew you were supposed to wear your seatbelt, follow the speed limit, pay attention and not drink and drive. Those are things most of us are taught. But being responsible for two little lives changed what being a safe driver means to me. When I get into my car now, I am not just getting myself from one place to another. Most of the time I have two little boys sitting behind me who trust me completely to get them where they are going safely. They are my precious cargo, and there is no text message, phone call, notification or anything else happening on my phone that is more important than making sure we make it home.

I think one of the biggest dangers with driving is how comfortable we become doing it. Something can be dangerous and still become normal when we do it every day. We drive to work, school, daycare, the grocery store and appointments without really thinking about the fact that we are controlling something that can take a life within seconds. We get comfortable enough to eat while driving, change music, look at directions, answer calls or glance down at a text. It only takes that one moment of looking away for everything to change.

Being an educated driver means understanding that responsibility before something happens, not after. You shouldn't have to experience an accident or lose somebody before deciding to take driving seriously. Knowing the laws is important, but education also means understanding why those laws exist. Speed limits, seatbelts, car seats and distracted driving laws are not there just to inconvenience us. They exist because decisions behind the wheel have consequences.

As a mother, I also have to remember that my children are watching me. Eventually they will become drivers themselves. If they grow up watching me grab my phone every time it makes a sound, what am I teaching them? I can tell them not to text and drive when they become teenagers, but my actions today will probably teach them more than my words later. I want them to remember that when Mommy got into the driver's seat, she made sure everybody was buckled, put the distractions away and understood that getting there safely mattered more than getting there quickly.

Life has also taught me that things can change without warning. I lost my mother when I was only 17 years old, the day after I became a teenage mother myself. That experience taught me very young that tomorrow is never promised. Now at 43, raising my two young sons and returning to school, I understand that lesson differently. My children need their mother. They need me to come home from work. They need me to pick them up. They need me at school meetings, appointments, birthdays and all the ordinary days in between. When I think about distracted driving from that perspective, answering a text while driving seems ridiculous compared to what I could lose.

I recently had a period where I did not have my vehicle and had to depend on walking and public transportation with my boys. As stressful as that was, it actually reminded me what having a vehicle means to our family. A car gives us freedom and makes it possible for me to work, get my children where they need to be and continue building our life. Having that privilege also comes with responsibility. I cannot control every driver around me, but I can control what kind of driver I am.

Safe driving also means remembering that the people in the other cars have families too. The person beside me may be somebody's mother, father, son, daughter or grandparent. A pedestrian crossing the street has somewhere they are trying to get back to. When someone drives distracted, impaired, aggressively or recklessly, they are not only gambling with their own life. They are making that decision for everybody around them who never agreed to take that risk.

I believe that is one of the most important things newer drivers need to understand. Getting a driver's license gives you independence, but it also gives you responsibility for something powerful. Being a good driver is not about whether you can operate a vehicle when everything is going right. It is about the decisions you make when your phone rings, when you're running late, when somebody cuts you off, when you're tired, when the kids are making noise in the back seat or when something takes your attention away from the road.

I am still learning every day, and becoming more aware of driving safety has made me think more carefully about my own habits. I don't want to be the person who says, "I only looked down for a second," after that second changes somebody's life forever. I would rather let the text wait. I would rather miss the call. I would rather arrive five minutes late. All of those things can be fixed. A life cannot always be given back.

My reason for being a safe and educated driver is sitting right behind me. My boys are watching, learning and depending on me. I want them to grow up knowing that driving is a privilege that should never be taken lightly. No text message is important enough for my children to lose their mother, and nothing on my phone is more important than the precious cargo sitting behind me. The destination will still be there when we arrive. My responsibility is making sure