Just because it’s your dream doesn’t mean that’s what God has in store for you

Even now, I still look back at pictures and videos of Smokey and smile. My friends and I still talk about all the memories we made together, from late-night drives with the sunroof open to singing at the top of our lungs during random road trips. Looking back on those moments always reminds me that Smokey was so much more than just a car.

Ever since I first saw a Kia K5 GT-Line, I knew that was exactly what I wanted my first car to be. When Kia redesigned its logo in 2021 and replaced the old oval emblem with the newer silver logo, I became obsessed with it. From that moment on, I started researching everything I could about the different model years, trims, and colors. I didn’t care what year the car was as long as it had the newer silver Kia logo on the front and was the color I had always dreamed of owning.

Once I knew what I wanted, I worked as hard as I could to make that dream become a reality. I stayed focused in school, picked up extra hours at work, and saved as much money as possible so I could build my savings account for my first car. At first, my mom wasn’t sure she wanted me to have that specific car because of some of the features it came with. After months of convincing from both me and our favorite car salesman, she finally said yes. The day I got Smokey was one of the happiest days of my life.

That’s why losing it hurt so much. Smokey wasn’t just my way of getting from one place to another. It represented months of hard work, determination, responsibility, and patience. Every time I looked at it, I saw everything I had worked for. It reminded me that if I stayed focused and worked hard, I could accomplish the goals I set for myself. Losing Smokey felt like losing a piece of who I was.

The day after the accident, I stopped by work just to get something to eat. I wasn’t expecting much, but I was overwhelmed by the amount of love and support everyone showed me. Every coworker asked how I was doing, hugged me, and reminded me that they were just thankful I was alive. One of my coworkers even started calling me their “little survivor.” It made me smile during one of the hardest times of my life.

After the accident, Daniel became much more protective of me. He constantly checked on me and made sure I was doing okay. Looking back, I realized that everyone I worked with cared about me like family, not just as another employee. One thing I forgot to mention was that my other boss, Joseph—who everyone calls Joe and who has always been one of my favorite bosses—had stayed home that day because he was sick. Even though he wasn’t feeling well, he still texted me to check on me while I was on my way to the hospital. Later, he even brought me food at the hospital. He absolutely didn’t have to do that, especially while he was sick himself, but he did anyway. That simple act of kindness meant more to me than he’ll probably ever know and reminded me just how lucky I was to have such caring people in my life.

Thankfully, my physical recovery wasn’t as severe as it could have been. I dealt with a lot of pain in my shoulder and back, and there were nights when the pain was so intense that I couldn’t sleep. For about two weeks after the accident, my entire body was sore, and even simple movements were uncomfortable. Eventually, I started going to physical therapy, and I also began taking hot Pilates classes, which helped me regain my strength and flexibility. Little by little, my body began to heal, and I was grateful that I was able to slowly get back to my normal routine.

Although my body healed, I didn’t realize how much the accident had affected me mentally. At first, I convinced myself that it hadn’t changed the way I drove. However, as time went on, I started noticing little things that I couldn’t control. Every time I saw a car waiting on a side road near an upcoming intersection, I would immediately become nervous. My heart would race, I would tense up, and I would flinch without even thinking about it. Even when the other driver wasn’t doing anything wrong, I found myself expecting another accident.

The hardest part was driving near the intersection where the crash happened. I couldn’t bring myself to take that route anymore. Even though it was the quickest way to work, I started driving a completely different route just to avoid that area. Even when someone else is driving, I still don’t like going that way because it brings back too many memories.

One day, I decided to try driving that route again because I thought I was finally ready. Instead, I ended up having a panic attack. I became overwhelmed with fear, and it felt like I was reliving the accident all over again. Thankfully, one of my friends was with me and helped calm me down. After everything settled, they told me that what I had experienced sounded a lot like PTSD. I had never really thought about it before, but the more I reflected on everything, the more it made sense. The accident had been one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, and even though the crash itself only lasted a few seconds, the emotional impact stayed with me long after my physical injuries had healed.

Looking back now, I realize that healing isn’t just about recovering physically. It’s also about learning how to move forward emotionally after experiencing something traumatic. While I still miss Smokey every day and always will, this experience taught me how quickly life can change and how important it is to appreciate the people who stand beside you during your hardest moments. My family, my coworkers, my friends, and even complete strangers reminded me that I was never alone. Although I’ll always wish I still had Smokey, I’m grateful that I was given the chance to continue making memories, chasing my goals, and living the life that almost changed forever on January 8, 2026.