The Day My Life Changed

May, 18th, 2018. I woke up, started my day like any other nine year old girl, I brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, fought with my mom over the outfit I would wear that day. I went to school, hoping that day we would have art or the library. I loved art and reading. After school that day, I went to my stepsisters house for about an hour long playdate. My stepdad came to pick us up and I hid from him that day, only for 15 minutes, though, 15 minutes can be the biggest difference.  About an hour after he had dropped me off at my house, my mom and I went to Texas De Brasil for a celebration dinner with her friends. I wore my fanciest blue dress and my mom wore teal.  I don't know why, but that evening, I couldn't eat, I had this feeling that something was wrong. I felt as though something was going to change and that, that was the day I'd have to grow up. Everyone there was enjoying the time until my mom got a call:

“Hello this is trooper ______. Are you home right now?”

My mom says “No, why? What happened?” unknowing of what would come next, something that we would hold for the rest of our lives. “Where are you right now?” says the trooper, to which in reply she says Texas De Brasil. We have no idea what is about to come of this, but the energy of the whole restaurant was off after that, everything was in slow motion for me. Internally, I had already known what had happened somehow.

6:20 pm, My mom steps out of the restaurant and with the troopers, she talks. 

“Your husband is dead, I'm sorry for your loss.” says the trooper. But what could sorry do? He was more than just a husband, he was a son, a brother, a friend, and most importantly a father, my father. For the next few weeks, my mom would get more information on the crash. The woman operating the vehicle was drunk and high on multiple substances. She was driving impaired, risking the lives of more people than just my stepfather. We held a service for him, and we met her family. She passed as well, she had a very young son. My sister moved in with her mom, in Texas. I haven't seen her since 2022. That day, two families experienced horrible loss, a type that I wish on no one.

I’m grateful that this happened to me and no one else, although the pain, the sleepless nights, the crying, and the hopes for things to change, I'm glad it was me and not someone else. Ever since that day, I promised myself to be a decisive driver, to never use substances at all but especially behind the wheel. Just in 15 minutes, my life was changed forever. I believe that driver's education was the best thing to be added to the driving curriculum, it helps people realize the dangers of driving and others behind the wheel.  

I hope my story can help give the motivation to someone to not drive while impaired, just to think once about others in the lanes next to them, who they could be, whether it's a mom, sister, or daughter. That day changed the way I carried myself, the way I dealt with pain and grief, even the way I think. Thankfully, with what I've been through, I've decided to use my voice to help others that have gone through similar,  try to make the best out of every day, and be the best version of myself that I can be. The risks of driving while impaired are never worth the 5 seconds of adrenaline you'll get. That day, so many people were affected by his death, not just me. I hope that everyone can decide to be a safe driver, there are so many people who have been affected by drunk and influenced drivers. It is never okay to drive under the influence of any drug or alcoholic substance. Driver safety will always be deeply personal to me because of my experiences. 

I will always be a decisive driver because of my experiences. I never want to be the reason that someone is missing their father, son, mother, brother, sister, or lover. I want to be someone who can be trusted behind the wheel and make good, decisive choices for everyone on the road.  I truly believe that these types of accidents are one hundred percent preventable and that you should be the person you feel safe with.