The Responsibility Behind the Wheel

I have spent a lot of time learning how to make decisions when other people are watching. As a soccer referee, I have stood in the middle of games where twenty-two players, coaches, and parents all have their own opinions about what should happen next. Driving has made me realize that the same responsibility exists on the road, except there is no referee to correct your mistake.

When I first started driving, I was focused on the obvious things: staying within the speed limit, using my signals, checking my mirrors, and remembering where I was going. Those things are important, but I have come to understand that being a safe driver requires something more difficult to practice: judgment. You have to make good decisions even when nobody is there to tell you what to do.

That is something refereeing has taught me well. During a match, I have had coaches argue with me and players question my decisions. Sometimes I have been completely certain about a call; other times I have needed a moment to process what happened. I have learned not to make decisions based on whoever is speaking the loudest. I take a breath, look at the situation, and make the decision I believe is right.

I think about that whenever I drive. If someone is driving aggressively behind me, I do not want to speed up simply because I feel pressured. If I am running late, that does not make a yellow light worth taking a risk over. If someone cuts me off, getting angry does not improve the situation. Being a good driver means controlling my reaction instead of allowing another person’s behavior to control me.

The biggest lesson I have learned about driving, though, is the importance of attention. My phone is constantly within reach, and I understand how easy it would be to think, “I’ll just check this quickly.” That is exactly the kind of thinking I want to avoid. A notification is designed to get my attention, but when I am driving, my attention belongs on the road.

I have made a simple rule for myself: if something on my phone can wait until I arrive, it waits. If I need directions, I set them before I leave. If I get a message, I do not need to know what it says immediately. I would rather arrive somewhere with an unanswered text than arrive knowing I took a risk because I could not wait a few minutes.

My perspective on driving has also been shaped by how much I depend on other people to make good decisions. I have spent countless hours riding in cars to soccer practices, games, tournaments, work, and other activities. As a passenger, I notice how much trust is involved. You are putting your safety in someone else’s hands without being able to control what they do. That makes me think about the people who will eventually be passengers in my car. If a friend, teammate, or family member is sitting next to me, I want them to feel comfortable because they know I take driving seriously.

I also want to be the driver who recognizes when conditions require a different approach. Arizona weather can change quickly, and even familiar roads can become more challenging at night or in poor visibility. Being educated about driving means knowing that experience does not make you invincible. There will always be situations I have not encountered before. If I am unsure, slowing down and giving myself more time to react is not weakness; it is good judgment.

That mindset connects directly to refereeing. I have worked with experienced officials who know far more than I do, and one of the most valuable things they have taught me is that asking questions is a strength. I do not want to assume that having a driver’s license means I have nothing left to learn. I want to keep learning about defensive driving, vehicle maintenance, road conditions, and the situations that new drivers are most likely to underestimate.

I have also learned through soccer that rules mean very little if people do not understand why they exist. As a referee, I once thought primarily about whether a player had committed a foul. With more experience, I began thinking about why the rule existed in the first place: to protect players and keep the game fair. I see traffic laws similarly. A speed limit is not just a number to stay under because a sign says so. A seat belt is not something to wear because it is required. These rules exist because real people can be affected when they are ignored.

For me, being a safe and educated driver comes down to taking responsibility before something goes wrong. I do not want to wait until I experience an accident, receive a ticket, or scare someone in my car to decide that safety matters. I want those decisions to become habits now.

Being in the driver’s seat is exciting because it represents independence. I can drive myself to work, soccer, school, and wherever else I need to go. But the more I think about that independence, the more I understand its other side. I am also responsible for every person sharing the road with me.

As a referee, I have learned that people trust you most when they know you will stay composed and make the right decision even when it is difficult. I want to bring that same standard into driving. I cannot control every person on the road, but I can control my own choices. To me, that is what being a safe and educated driver really means.