Every Decision Has a Family Behind It

There are some phone calls you never forget. The kind that changes your life before you even have time to process what’s happening. For me, that phone call came in May of 2025 when my family learned that my aunt, Toluwami Adegbayi, had been killed in a car accident on the highway. A truck driver was texting while driving and hit her. Just like that, she was gone.

I still struggle to understand how someone’s decision to look down at their phone for a few seconds could cost another person their entire life. My aunt had people who loved her. She had dreams, plans, and so much more life left to live. She should still be here laughing with us, calling family members, celebrating birthdays, and making memories. Instead, all we have are the memories we were lucky enough to make before she was taken from us.

People always say, “It only takes a second.” They’re right. It only took a second for one driver to make a choice that my family has to live with forever.

Before losing my aunt, driver education honestly just seemed like another class people had to take before getting their license. I thought it was mostly about learning traffic laws and passing a driving test. Now I understand it’s about protecting lives. It teaches people that driving is one of the biggest responsibilities they’ll ever have. Every time someone gets behind the wheel, they’re making decisions that affect complete strangers. They have the power to get everyone home safely, or they have the power to change someone’s family forever.

I believe driver education is one of the most important ways we can reduce the number of deaths on our roads because knowledge creates better habits. People need to understand that distracted driving is just as dangerous as speeding or driving under the influence. Looking at a phone for a few seconds may not seem like a big deal, but those few seconds can be the difference between making it home and never coming home again.

There are many things we can do to reduce driving related deaths. Drivers should put their phones somewhere they cannot reach while driving. Everyone should wear a seatbelt every single trip, even if they are only driving a few minutes away. People should never drive while tired, distracted, or under the influence. We also need to continue educating young drivers because safe habits are easier to build from the beginning than they are to fix later.

Although losing my aunt has been the hardest experience my family has faced because of driving, I have also seen people around me drive carelessly. I have been in cars where someone checked a text message or picked up their phone at a stoplight and kept looking at it after the light turned green. Before, I probably would not have thought much about it. Now my heart drops every single time because I know exactly what distracted driving can do. I never want another family to get the phone call that mine received.

As I continue becoming a more experienced driver, I want my aunt’s memory to guide every decision I make behind the wheel. I will keep my phone put away. I will wear my seatbelt every time. I will slow down when I need to. I will never let being in a rush become an excuse to put someone else’s life at risk. I also want to speak up when I see unsafe driving. If a friend is texting while driving, I will tell them to stop. If someone is too tired to drive safely, I will encourage them to let someone else drive. I know those conversations can feel uncomfortable, but I also know what it feels like to lose someone because nobody made the safe choice.

My aunt did not deserve what happened to her. No family deserves to lose someone because another driver decided that a text message was more important than paying attention to the road.

If there is one thing I hope people take away from my story, it is this. Your phone can wait. The text can wait. Social media can wait. Someone’s life cannot.

Every time I get behind the wheel, I will carry my aunt with me. I cannot bring her back, but I can honor her by driving the way every person deserves to be driven around. Carefully. Responsibly. With the understanding that every car on the road carries someone’s whole world inside of it. I wish the driver who hit my aunt had understood that too.