Life is a journey

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Teen driver safety means more to me than a lot of my peers. This is due to my big cousin Tara, who I loved and adored was killed in an apparent drag race on Martin Luther King Boulevard (a popular main street in Roxbury, Mass). She was in the backseat with another friend and the driver was someone she knew that offered her a ride home so she felt comfortable. They were reportedly doing speeds of over one hundred miles per hour and I know she was terrified because she would despise if my uncle would accelerate on the highway and would get noticeably angry and eventually stopped riding with him.

The news devastated my family and rocked me to the core. I could not understand how this could happen and all of the questions that go through your head. I don’t know if texting was involved or alcohol or other drugs, but I know as I am writing this that my cousin was not a willing participant in the event that ultimately took her life. The driver lived, the passenger in the front and the passenger in the back survived with broken bones and scars and my cousin is the only one who died on the scene. She was ejected out of the car. My heart hurts writing this as I realize that I never actually wrote this story.

Every year, thousands of teenagers are killed or permanently altered due to preventable car accidents. According to the CDC,this is the leading cause of death. I think with all of the distractions of today and the short attention spans, it serves as a toxic recipe for unfocused drivers.

Driver’s education is so important and should be an actual requirement and not an elective to help with insurance rates. I have personally watched people who would drive with their parents and then take lessons and their whole form and style is different. It goes far past learning how to parallel park, 10 and 2 and all of the other tips. It is focused, intentional space with a professional and non loved one who will fail you if you are not accurate and careful. A quality driver’s ed program helps teens understand consequences.

However, despite all of the training, teen drivers still face significant challenges and distractions. One of the biggest is texting, gps and apps on the mobile device. We live in a world of constant notifications and people needing and maybe even more so, wanting immediate replies. While operating a vehicle, even looking down for 1.5 seconds is the difference between life and death.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.” – Douglas Adams

I think peer pressure could be another factor as my mom told me old stories of her friends in high school that would succumb to everything from dares to even asking a boy out. As silly I thought that was when she told me, I now understand it throughout my high school journey. There have been socials and birthday parties where someone snuck in alcohol and I used my influence with my immediate peer group and made it seem corny and uncool to indulge. I realize that I cannot save the world, but if I can impact one person that is important to me.

I think about my cousin Tara everyday and every time I hear a car screech by, I am startled and think of her. I helped to spearhead a campaign at my school to encourage teens to not text and drive and against underage drinking and I called it T.A.R.A (Think Accountability Respect Arrive).

Think about driving behaviors before getting behind the wheel. Accountability for yourself and others in your vehicle. Respect for the road, other passengers and safety measures. Arrive safely to your destination. It was a double benefit because I had people who never met my cousin saying her name, screaming it actually.

I think some of the solutions could be additional training and repeated examples of good driving habits. My hope is that parents serve as models of good driving habits, but I have seen some scary things.. I think a peer led campaign could be very powerful and impactful as I know in real time what can happen if a car and its power is not respected.

Thank you for reading my story and getting to know my big cousin Tara.