Dear Maddox,
I hope you’re doing well and that you are as excited as I am for this next chapter in our lives. Starting physician assistant school soon at the same time that you are about to embark on your journey of playing college football is a dream come true, and I cannot help myself but get sentimental. As I reflect on the years leading up to this moment, I remember the countless car rides we have shared—those long sweaty drives home from football games, quick trips to the grocery store for Mom, or our 3,000 mile drive across the country together with our two family cats and you refusing to sleep any of the car ride because you are selfless and because you were too young to drive you insisted on contributing by being my entertainment to keep me awake. There’s so much I wish I’d done differently, especially when it comes to driving safely. I’m writing this letter to you because I want you to understand just how important it is to be a responsible driver, especially now that you’re driving on your own and about to go away to college.
Now that you just turned 18, I know that you are feeling invincible against the world and feel as though you may know everything, I hope you also remember that every time you drive a car, you are operating a weapon. Looking at it through that lens, would you look at your phone while holding a sharp knife in the kitchen or a gun at a shooting range without the safety turned on? Temptations such as drug and alcohol use and abuse will increase exponentially the moment you step onto a college campus, so I urge you to try and recall some things that you learned three years ago during your driver education course every time you get behind the wheel of a car. Even if you do not remember the specific statistics of deaths each year as a direct result of driving, just remember that word alone: “statistic”. I do not want you or any of your friends to ever be a part of the detrimental statistics of driving-related deaths. I want you to remember this whenever you are the passenger in a car as well, it is never a bad idea to remind and re-educate your peers on driving regulations that they may have forgotten; driver education alone is a superpower in its ability to prevent and save lives when it comes to driving.
Distracted driving is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but its dangers are very real and personal to me. I know this because I’ve experienced it firsthand. You probably remember that time I got into a car accident when I was changing the song on my phone or when I popped my passenger side tire on the curb and told Mom and Dad it was because of a squirrel but I was really texting. These were such quick decisions—less than a second, honestly—and I thought it was no big deal at the time. After all, what harm could come from just a quick glance at my phone? But in those brief moments, everything changed… I was indirectly teaching you that it was okay to drive distracted. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured those times, but all it takes is one more poor less than one second decision to change someone’s life forever. Now thinking about those instances through a lens of a more responsible older sister who has shadowed brain surgeries that are the direct result of distracted driving car accidents rather than a self-absorbed teenager, I realize how quickly things can go wrong and how a simple distraction, no matter how small, can have huge consequences.
Growing up as part of Generation Z, I am a part of the first generation to truly grow up with smartphones in our hands. For us, having instant access to social media, music, and messages is second nature. The idea of being disconnected for even a moment can feel almost unbearable. When I got my license, there were no strict laws about texting and driving. In fact, the no-texting-while-driving legislation didn’t come into play until 2018, two years after I got my license. Because of that, I wasn’t as mindful as I should’ve been about putting my phone down when I was behind the wheel. I would tell myself, “It’s just a quick text” or “I’m only looking at the GPS,” but each time I did, I was putting myself, and you, at risk.
As a passenger, you trusted me to keep you safe, and looking back, I wish I had always set the right example for you. I want you to know that I am deeply sorry for the times I allowed myself to be distracted while driving. Your life matters so much to me, and I would never want anything to happen to you because of a careless decision. That’s why I’m sharing this with you now, in the hopes that you’ll learn from my mistakes and make better choices when you’re behind the wheel.
Distracted driving is an issue that affects so many people, especially young drivers who might not yet realize the gravity of the situation. When you’re young, it’s easy to feel invincible, as if nothing bad could ever happen to you. I felt that way, too. But we’re not invincible, and the statistics show that distracted driving is one of the leading causes of accidents among people our age. I don’t want you to become another statistic, and I know you don’t want that either.
To help raise awareness about the dangers of distracted driving, I think it’s important to start with open two-sided conversations. People need to hear real stories, not just statistics. I could share my experience and encourage others to do the same, whether it’s through school presentations, social media, or community events. The more personal and relatable the message is, the more likely it will resonate with young drivers. I can still vividly remember sitting in 9th grade PE class watching documentary videos related to the effects of drinking while driving and vowing to myself to never make the same mistakes of the people in the film.
Technology can also play a role in preventing distracted driving. Although it can contribute to the problem, it can also be part of the solution. Apps that lock your phone while the car is moving, for example, can help minimize the temptation to check texts or change songs. Encouraging people to use these tools, or even making them a standard feature in cars, could make a big difference. Applications such as Uber and Lyft are other ways to utilize technology to our advantage in order to reduce the number of deaths related to driving, specifically mitigating drinking and driving on college campuses.
In addition, I believe that driver education courses should place more emphasis on the risks associated with distracted driving. When I took my driving test, there was no mention of the dangers of texting and driving, let alone the other distractions I commonly see sitting in traffic through my rearview mirror like eating, applying makeup, and even reading! If more time were spent discussing these risks, perhaps new drivers would take them more seriously from the start. For us as individuals, the simplest but most impactful step we can take is to make a personal commitment to driving distraction-free. It might seem small, but it’s a habit that could save lives—ours and others.
Your safety means everything to me, and I don’t ever want to be in a position where I have to regret not setting the right example or sharing the truth about how dangerous distracted driving can be. I’m asking you, as your older sister who loves you dearly, to please take this seriously. Make the decision today to be a safe and focused driver. I promise you, the texts, songs, and notifications can wait.
Thank you for reading this, and for letting me share my experiences with you. I’m proud of the person you’re becoming, and I’m always here for you—whether it’s for advice, a ride, or just a chat.
Be safe always.
With all my love,
Cooper