Seatbelts are the reason my mom, dad and I are still alive today. I vividly remember the roadtrip to Texas, driving all through the night in order to get to a funeral on time. By the light of my dying game system, I asked my mom if I could take my seatbelt off, since it was digging into my hip and I could not fall asleep. She apologized, but said I needed to keep it on and offered a hat to wrap around the buckle of the seatbelt. I jammed this underneath my hip, and went to sleep. The next moment I opened my eyes, I felt the same stomach dropping sensation you do while in the air on a roller coaster. I remember the impact of our car hitting the dirt ravine from the sky, but the sensation of weightlessness and dream-like sleepiness kept me from bracing for the impact. My entire family survived. My mom had fallen asleep at the wheel, and the car had gone off a 30 foot bridge into a dirt ravine. The car behind ours had called 911 immediately, but because we were all three asleep and wearing our seatbelts, we all lived. I cannot imagine a scenario where my mom had relented just a minute before, and every one of my family’s lives were permanently altered.
I never let this early childhood experience prevent me from learning to drive. In fact, I spent my 16th birthday at the DMV, getting a learner’s permit so I could learn to drive the very same day. However, I am always a safe, confident and defensive driver, and this is because of my driver’s education class. During my drivers’ education course, I was able to practice driving in a controlled environment, getting experience with a licensed professional. Drivers’ education is also important because of its ability to act as a resource to field questions. As a person with an anxiety disorder, being in an environment where I could freely ask questions without feeling bothersome or uneducated was vital in ensuring my complete understanding of rules on the road.
While learning to drive with drivers’ education, I learned about the importance of defensive driving. This is a practice that requires patience, as defensive driving prioritizes the safety of everyone around you rather than getting to the destination as quickly as possible. Once, I was driving late at night down a low lit street. I approached a four way stop, and even though I did not see anyone at the other corners, I still stopped the car completely at the stop sign. As I went to accelerate, a car suddenly flashed across the intersection, feet away from my own stopped car, the sound peeling away as quickly as it arrived. If I had not stopped and ensured complete safety before continuing through the intersection, I would easily have been struck by that car.
A couple years back, there was a major delay on one of the major Dallas freeways. Everything was backed up for hours, all because of a collision. There were reports of major road rage, including individuals drawing guns on one another during the hours of traffic backup. While all of this was happening, my mother’s college best friend was mourning the loss of the father of her three children, Jason. The truck driver had collided with Jason’s car, killing him almost instantaneously. I wonder if, had the individuals stuck in traffic known the grieving individuals personally, if their responses to one another would be more compassionate. Either way, I believe all drivers could benefit from learning to presume innocence.
As a safe driver, I frequently practice patience and presume innocence for others. This is a safe driving practice I inherited from a childhood friends’ mother. Presume innocence is a practice in which you assume the best for another individual on the road. Rather than thinking that someone intentionally cut you off, presume innocence. Maybe that individual realized their turn too late, or genuinely did not see your car. This is a difficult mindfulness practice to achieve, and requires vigilance. When driving, our inclination is to be defensive, as we are operating heavy machinery and attempting to commute to the next part of our day. This means that our natural first response will be to blame another individual, rather than looking inward. Reflect, and try to presume innocence for those around you, and remember that the cars around you are filled with other, real people. Maybe the individual who you think intentionally sped past you is rushing to the hospital to identify their partners’ body. Maybe the person ignoring the order of the right of way is a new driver on their 16th birthday. And maybe, the extra three seconds it takes to stop at the stop sign is the difference between your life and death. As you’re driving out on the road, I encourage you to take the time to presume innocence. And the next time you’re driving, even if you’re going just around the block, take the extra second to put on a seatbelt.