As a kid, I never thought about the dangers of driving. I took driver’s ed like I was required to do, so I learned about the basics: don’t drink and drive, don’t text while driving, hands at ten and two. But when you are a teenager, you think you are invincible and I always assumed it wouldn’t happen to me. Then a drunk driver made the decision to drive and ended up taking my uncle from us. My uncle wasn’t just some random family member. To me, he was one of my best friends. He was the one I looked to for advice and the one I trusted with all my secrets, and he was taken in an instant by a bad driving decision someone else made. My uncle was only 35 years old and had big plans for the future, but all of that was stolen by someone who had already made the reckless, stupid and selfish choice to drive drunk before, but never faced any serious consequences.

That day, my uncle, his dad, and his dog were all in the car together and they were all killed by someone who walked away without a scratch and didn’t even realize what he had done. He wasn’t even aware of the irreparable damage he had caused, and definitely didn’t consider the future he had wiped out with his bad decisions. He had already been issued two DUIs and those were just the times he got behind the wheel drunk and got caught. Who knows the number of times he made the same terrible choice, since he barely got a slap on the wrist the first two times. But that last time the driver chose to drive drunk, my uncle’s future, my future and the futures of everyone who loved him, were crushed in an instant.

I am the oldest child and my only sibling is 9 years younger than me, so I didn’t have siblings to really talk to. Instead, uncle became like a big brother to me. We would just hang out, he’d give me advice or a hard time but we always had fun together. We would talk, laugh and make inside jokes and it was always a good time. He was always there for me when I needed him. I wanted to be just like him: the fun uncle that all the kids run to when he comes over and drive parents crazy. He had just gotten married and was looking forward to having kids. And I couldn’t wait to be the type of uncle he was to his kids! It’s always been my goal, when my little sister has kids – I want to be just like my uncle was. He would’ve been an incredible dad.

That chance of a future was taken away in an instant. And the worst part is, it didn’t need to happen. If the driver who caused the crash had faced real consequences after his first or second DUI, maybe my uncle and his dad would still be here. Maybe his dog would still be alive. If that driver had faced a more appropriate level of punishment for his actions, maybe he never would’ve been allowed to be on the road that day. But instead, that drunk driver got behind the wheel again, thinking he was invincible and there would be no consequences to his poor decisions, once again. That time, there were some real consequences to his actions though: his bad decision took away my uncle, his dad and dog and nothing can change that. Nothing can bring them back.

The drunk driver had already been caught and cited twice before for driving under the influence. He had been fined, got his license suspended for a few weeks, and was supposed to take a driving course, which he didn’t complete. No jail time. No mandatory AA or safety classes. No ongoing follow-up. The truth is, the consequences he faced weren’t strong enough to even make him think twice about his actions, if anything it might have made him feel more invincible. He broke the law, ignored the rules of the road and got away with it. And that’s where things need to change.

Our system needs to have real impact and enforce the rules to protect others on the road.

When I first started driving, I thought it was great that officers were usually lenient on first time offenses like speeding or being on a cellphone. But my perspective has shifted since then. I think there should be stronger consequences for first-time offenders of DUIs, distracted driving, or any other form of reckless driving. When people get caught driving drunk or while distracted, they often only face fines, short suspensions, or maybe a few weeks of community service. But that’s not enough to make them understand the seriousness of their actions. If first-time offenders had to take defensive driver and safety education courses maybe they would think twice before getting behind the wheel while intoxicated or distracted. A class or paying a fine isn’t enough though. They need to see the real life impact their choices can have. They need to know that one decision, one moment of distraction or impairment, can change someone’s life forever.

Even though my life was changed because of a DUI, distracted driving causes thousands of deaths annually. Driving while texting or being on your phone is just as dangerous. Things move too quickly while you are driving to take any of your attention away from the road. People don’t think about the consequences when they’re looking down at their phone. They think they’re just sending a quick text, but in that split second, their focus is gone, and it’s so easy to lose control or make a mistake. That’s why stronger penalties for first-time offenders of all dangerous driving behaviors are necessary. It’s the only way to make sure people really understand how serious it is.

This tragedy has completely changed the way I look at driving and the choices I make every time I get in a car. I pay more attention to other drivers when I’m on the road. If I see someone swerving or driving erratically, I don’t just ignore it, I pay attention. If I’m concerned, I call the non-emergency police line and report it. I know now that speaking up could prevent something much worse from happening. It’s a small thing to do, but it could make a huge difference.

I think about how my uncle would still be here if someone had just done that for him—if someone had seen the driver who killed him driving recklessly and called it in before it was too late. Before this, I didn’t even know that was an option. More people need to know what to do when they see that type of driving on the roads.

As time passes, the pain subsides, and the ache doesn’t hurt as much. But this tragedy has changed me, in so many ways. I’ll always remember my uncle and keep his memory alive but I’ll also always remember the choices someone made to cause me to lose him. I can’t do anything to bring him back, but I have realized that I can help to prevent this from happening to other families. I can educate others to call in erratic driving. I can keep my phone away while I drive and encourage those I ride with to do the same. I can make sure I never get behind the wheel after drinking.

Our system is flawed and needs to change. We need to take driving responsibilities more seriously and ensure that every driver is properly educated on the importance of making safe driving decisions and that they are fully aware of the consequences if they choose to make the wrong one. One small decision could save a life. Maybe if people truly understood how their actions affect others, tragedies like this wouldn’t happen. No one should ever have to experience the pain of losing someone like we did, especially when it was just one choice that could have saved lives.