“He’s okay.”
But I wasn’t.
Last April, my 17 year old brother got in a car accident that changed me and the way I think entirely. I was headed to school in College Park, Maryland, when I got a text with images of his red Mazda CX5 under a tree that had gone off the road. The hood of the car was bent up, the back windshield broken with glass sitting in the trunk, the airbag lifeless in the front seat.
I remember walking to my English class that morning, feeling so scared. So empty and terrified. I left school early, skipping two of my afternoon classes that day. I was absolutely horrified at the totaled car Brandon had just gotten a month prior, that had filled him with such joy and gratitude. It was the only car my family was able to afford.
The 19 year old hit him at 55mph on a 40mph road, while my brother was at a complete stop waiting for a car to turn left into their street. She was on her phone, distracted to the point where it almost cost my brother his life that hadn’t even fully started yet.
I spent the next few days with Brandon. It was as if something awoke in me. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I needed to be close to him. To soak up this time in case this were to ever happen again. Brandon and I are 22 months apart in age. He is my sibling, my best friend.
Everyone hears how one slight distraction on the road could change their life. But I don’t think anyone really believes it until it happens to them or someone they love. Being on your phone on the road is so dangerous, and it terrifies me to see people use them so casually. Sending pictures on Snapchat while driving 70 on the highway, sending a text while driving around a tight bend, scrolling through a music playlist at a light.
I won’t lie and say I never go on my phone. And truthfully, before the accident, I would go on it a lot. But this was eye opening, even though I wasn’t part of Brandon’s accident.
For me, the best steps I use to stay off my phone while driving now is to place it on “Do not Disturb.” Here, I don’t get messages that force me to stare at the screen. No message is as important as my life or someone else's. The texts can wait. If I use GPS to get somewhere, I always keep the Siri voice mode on so they can tell me where to go, rather than me looking down to my phone to figure out where I’m turning. Finally, I always make sure the speed I drive is safe and considerate to myself and others. The woman who almost took my brother from me unfortunately did not do this, and risked Brandon’s life.
This experience also showed me the value of formal driver’s education. Programs don’t just teach rules. They are what create habits. From practicing defensive driving to understanding reaction times, driver’s ed reinforces safety before teenagers can develop risky routines. I believe interactive, real-life examples, like testimonials from victims, such as my own brother, could make these lessons even more impactful for young drivers.
I am so incredibly lucky for my little brother to still be here with me today. The brother I made play Barbie with me, the brother who made me play dinosaurs with him. The brother who gets me like no one else does.
I knew before Brandon’s accident that distracted driving wasn’t good. But after his accident? It’s dangerous. And I will forever make sure to stay off my devices and drive at safe speeds while on the road. I will not ever risk someone’s life like the girl who did my brother’s.
To make sure stories like my brother’s stop, a lot of things can change. Teenagers can commit to safe-driving pledges and hold each other accountable. Schools can implement programs in the classroom where students hear directly from accident survivors. Local communities can create safe-driving workshops and campaigns that allow safe driving to become a huge priority. So much can be done!
Brandon has since graduated high school, and will be playing Division 2 lacrosse at Lenoir-Rhyne University while majoring in Finance. He has so much life ahead of him, and I could not be prouder as his big sister to see where he goes.
I truly hope that young drivers wake up and realize the severity of distracted driving, just as I have.