My dad always told me to play defense while driving, not offense. I think what he meant by that was to sit back and pay attention to what other people were doing, upon which you could ascertain the best course of action for yourself. This has stuck with me since I started learning to drive, and I think I will keep the mentality my whole life. Alternatively, if you choose to play offense while driving, you are more likely to go head-to-head with angry drivers, and encounter dangerous situations. I would rather get to my destination late and in one piece, than not arrive at all.
Driver’s education is a pivotal part of learning how to drive, as it constructs your mindset for being on the road, and gives you awareness on the potential dangers of driving. Unfortunately, not many steps can be taken to prevent the catastrophic amount of driving-related deaths that occur every year, besides simply reminding people that as soon as you’re on the road, you’re not only responsible for your own life and those in your car, but everyone else around you as well. I think restrictions should definitely be more strict, as I’ve experienced firsthand that some people simply don’t understand, or they just don’t care about possible consequences. My twin brother is one of these people, he speeds unnecessarily and definitely plays offense while on the road. I try not to be in the car when he’s behind the wheel, as I never feel safe. I always remind him that anything can happen, and even though he’s been in a couple accidents already, I don’t think he can grasp the concept of responsibility. In these cases, I think rules should be much more rigid, especially for high school students. Drivers licenses should be a privilege, not an expectation, and every day one is on the road they should take any action seriously, as the smallest detail could potentially cause indefinite repercussions.
One instance that has impacted my driving mentality occurred while I was at work at my part-time job. I was a lifeguard, and at the pool we had a family of regulars that showed up nearly every day. They came in one day after being absent for a little while, but unfortunately the pool was closed that day for cleaning. The father seemed unreasonably upset at this, but his disappointment made complete sense when he told me that his wife had just recently been involved in a terrible car crash that cost her her life, leaving him with six children to take care of alone. He told me that this was the first outing they had taken since the accident, as it was all he had the strength for. He left in tears after saying that, and at first, I had no idea what to say. He and his children were almost out the door when I ran after them, finding the right words on the spot. I told him that I was so sorry, and no one on earth should be given the heartbreak he had in front of him.
What I had barely mentioned to anyone at all at this point was that my own dad had recently passed away as well; Maybe a month before my interaction with the family. Earlier when I said my dad was the biggest influence over my driving attitude, he was and still is. He worked as a bus driver for Virginia Beach Public Schools, and I remember how he always bragged about not having a ticket or infraction for more than 20 years. He was the safest driver I’ve ever known, I didn’t feel unsafe once when he was behind the wheel. One time when my family was in Florida we missed our flight back home, and he rented a minivan for us and drove us straight home all throughout the night just so we wouldn’t miss a party we had the next day. He was the safest and most selfless person, and I hope to embody that mentality every time I’m on the road.
Maybe this is why the family at the pool’s story resonated with me so much, because although the circumstances were different, we both knew loss. I told the father that his children would one day admire and appreciate how strong he appeared before them, even if he didn’t feel that way in the moment. I told him about my dad and said that my mom now has to learn to take care of herself and the three of her children alone as well. Although she sometimes feels overwhelmed and isolated, we as children are there for our parents just as much as our parents are there for us. People make terrible mistakes, and tragic lessons are learned, but the most you can do is always value others on the road just as much as you value yourself.