“Fatal car accident” is heard so frequently we often do not even think twice about it. Irreversible freak accidents happen every day. In America, there are an average of six million car accidents every year. In 2023, 40,990 of those crashes were fatal, and 13,524 of those fatal crashes were caused by an impaired driver. To simplify that number, there are around thirty-seven people who die because of a drunk driver every single day in America.
June 2023 my world turned upside down. I never realized the terror of reading “Charge: Driving While Intoxicated” until it became a reality for my family. “>.15” is what appeared on the screen. I never knew the significance such a small number could have on a person’s life. I remember every detail of the day I heard the news like it was yesterday. Someone very close to me was arrested for drunk driving. I felt a sense of shock rush through my body: no tears, no words, no emotion. I sat in silence telling myself it was just a dream and it could not be real, convincing myself I would wake up soon and everything would be normal. However, that was far from the truth.
Naively, this person assumed he would get out of this situation with a slap on his wrist, only to learn that over the next two years, he would have to deal with hours of community service, several court dates, having to blow into a breathalyzer every time he wanted to drive, countless amounts of drug tests, and several meetings with probation officers. The sad truth of all of that is, he got the easy way out.
My brother, freshly twenty-one years old with his whole life ahead of him, attending college, participating in an internship, and planning to graduate in one year, changed the whole trajectory of his life when he decided to get behind the wheel after a night out with friends. “Call an Uber” is such a simple statement; however, being in the alternate state of mind that he was, he decided to drive.
Asleep in a drive-thru, awoken by flashing blue and red lights and banging on his window, my brother was taken to jail, not yet understanding what he had just caused for not only himself, but also my family. As he sat hand-cuffed in the back of a cop car he thought he could just make one easy phone call for his friends to come bail him out without anyone ever finding out. However, the next morning he woke up in a jail cell and came to the sober reality of his actions. He had just caused himself years of restriction and overwhelming guilt.
It was not just the shame of the choices made and the fact that he got caught, but the shame of knowing what the outcome could have been. Each year families all over the world are devastated with the news that someone close to them has either been killed by an impaired driver or someone in their family killed innocent people(s) because of drunk driving.
As I heard the news, I was overtaken with anger as I questioned how someone could do something so selfish and stupid. I felt a sensation of embarrassment thinking about what others would think of me and my family. Not ever experiencing something like this, we had no idea what to expect over the next few years. The judgment, the shame, the hiding, and the guilt were never-ending. At every family and friend event we attended we all knew we were hiding one big secret, a secret that could not get out because our family would be humiliated and bashed. Planning in advance how we could make sure nobody would see his breathalyzer and doing everything in our power to make sure his mug shot did not get sent around, we were drowned with guilt. My family and I changed many things in our day-to-day lives to protect my brother’s story from being spread.
Although throughout the past two years things have settled down and he worked hard to get it off his record, he still lives with the eternal guilt of getting behind the wheel knowing the outcome could have been much worse. As I scroll through my camera roll and stumble upon the screenshot of his mugshot, countless thoughts rush through my head. It changed me as a person knowing how different this situation could have gone. Watching my parents question if he will ever get a good job and seeing the disappointment and the feeling of failure that they felt is something that will stick with me for a lifetime. I often consider my brother lucky because not everybody gets away with such a heinous and inexcusable act as easily as he did. On the other hand, I have learned to be grateful for this event. I have realized how quickly things could change in my life without ever expecting. Along with that, I am grateful my brother is still alive as well as everyone else on the roads with him at that time.
Many others experience the reality of driving under the influence in a different way than my brother did. Every year approximately 13,524 people are killed because a drunk driver chose to get behind the wheel, but around 1.5 million people are arrested for driving under the influence. Fortunately, my brother did not directly impact the statistic that thirty-seven people die each day from a drunk driving accident, but the sobering reality of how easily he could have changed my perspective on being a safe driver.