A better day for tomorrow

Defining the
Thesis Statement

What
is a thesis statement?

Every
paper you write should have a main point, a main idea, or central
message. The argument(s) you make in your paper should reflect this
main idea. The sentence that captures your position on this main idea
is what we call a thesis statement.

How
long does it need to be?

A
thesis statement focuses your ideas into one or two sentences. It
should present the topic of your paper and also make a comment about
your position in relation to the topic. Your thesis statement should
tell your reader what the paper is about and also helps guide your
writing and keep your argument focused. 

Questions to Ask
When Formulating Your Thesis

Where
is your thesis statement?

You
should provide a thesis early in your essay — in the introduction,
or in longer essays in the second paragraph — in order to establish
your position and give your reader a sense of direction.

Tip:
In order to write a successful thesis statement:

• Avoid
  burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a paragraph or
  late in the paper.

• Be
  as clear and as specific as possible; avoid vague words.

• Indicate
  the point of your paper but avoid sentence structures like, “The
  point of my paper is…” 

Is
your thesis statement specific?

Your
thesis statement should be as clear and specific as possible.
Normally you will continue to refine your thesis as you revise your
argument(s), so your thesis will evolve and gain definition as you
obtain a better sense of where your argument is taking you.

Tip:
Check your thesis:

• Are
  there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinating
  conjunction (i.e. “and,” “but,” “or,”
  “for,” “nor,” “so,” “yet”)?

• Would
  a subordinating conjunction help (i.e. “through,”
  “although,” “because,” “since”) to
  signal a relationship between the two sentences?

• Or
  do the two statements imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis?

• If
  so, settle on one single focus and then proceed with further
  development.

Is
your thesis statement too general?

Your
thesis should be limited to what can be accomplished in the specified
number of pages. Shape your topic so that you can get straight to the
“meat” of it. Being specific in your paper will be much
more successful than writing about general things that do not say
much. Don’t settle for three pages of just skimming the surface.

The
opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a broad, sprawling,
superficial thesis. Compare this original thesis (too general) with
three possible revisions (more focused, each presenting a different
approach to the same topic):

• Original
  thesis:

  • There
    are serious objections to today’s horror movies.

• Revised
  theses:

  • Because
    modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get more
    graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to
    violence.

  • The
    pornographic violence in “bloodbath” slasher movies
    degrades both men and women.

  • Today’s
    slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that 1930s
    horror films did.

Is
your thesis statement clear?

Your
thesis statement is no exception to your writing: it needs to be as
clear as possible. By being as clear as possible in your thesis
statement, you will make sure that your reader understands exactly
what you mean.

Tip:
In order to be as clear as possible in your writing:

• Unless
  you’re writing a technical report, avoid technical language. Always
  avoid jargon, unless you are confident your audience will be
  familiar with it.

• Avoid
  vague words such as “interesting,” “negative,”
  “exciting,” “unusual,” and “difficult.”

• Avoid
  abstract words such as “society,” “values,” or
  “culture.”

These
words tell the reader next to nothing if you do not carefully explain
what you mean by them. Never assume that the meaning of a sentence is
obvious. Check to see if you need to define your terms (”socialism,”
“conventional,” “commercialism,” “society”),
and then decide on the most appropriate place to do so. Do not
assume, for example, that you have the same understanding of what
“society” means as your reader. To avoid misunderstandings, be as
specific as possible.

Compare
the original thesis (not specific and clear enough) with the revised
version (much more specific and clear):

• Original
  thesis:
  Although the timber wolf is a timid and gentle animal, it is being
  systematically exterminated. [if it’s so timid and gentle — why is
  it being exterminated?]

• Revised
  thesis:
  Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it
  is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully
  believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer.

Does
your thesis include a comment about your position on the issue at
hand?

The
thesis statement should do more than merely announce the topic; it
must reveal what position you will take in relation to that topic,
how you plan to analyze/evaluate the subject or the issue. In short,
instead of merely stating a general fact or resorting to a simplistic
pro/con statement, you must decide what it is you have to say.

Tips:

• Avoid
  merely announcing the topic; your original and specific “angle”
  should be clear. In this way you will tell your reader why your take
  on the issue matters.

  • Original
    thesis:
    In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales
    and early childhood.

  • Revised
    thesis:
    Not just empty stories for kids, fairy tales shed light on the
    psychology of young children.

• Avoid
  making universal or pro/con judgments that oversimplify complex
  issues.

  • Original
    thesis:
    We must save the whales.

  • Revised
    thesis:
    Because our planet’s health may depend upon biological diversity,
    we should save the whales.

• When
  you make a (subjective) judgment call, specify and justify your
  reasoning. “Just because” is not a good reason for an argument.

  • Original
    thesis:
    Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya.

  • Revised
    thesis:
    If the government takes over industry in Kenya, the industry will
    become more efficient.

• Avoid
  merely reporting a fact. Say more than what is already proven fact.
  Go further with your ideas. Otherwise… why would your point
  matter?

  • Original
    thesis:
    Hoover’s administration was rocked by scandal.

  • Revised
    thesis:
    The many scandals of Hoover’s administration revealed basic
    problems with the Republican Party’s nominating process.

Do
not expect to come up with a fully formulated thesis statement before
you have finished writing the paper. The thesis will inevitably
change as you revise and develop your ideas—and that is ok! Start
with a tentative thesis and revise as your paper develops.

Is
your thesis statement original?

Avoid,
avoid, avoid generic arguments and formula statements. They work well
to get a rough draft started, but will easily bore a reader. Keep
revising until the thesis reflects your real ideas.

Tip:
The point you make in the paper should matter:

• Be
  prepared to answer “So what?” about your thesis statement.

• Be
  prepared to explain why the point you are making is worthy of a
  paper. Why should the reader read it?

Compare
the following:

• Original
  thesis:

  • There
    are advantages and disadvantages to using statistics. (a
    fill-in-the-blank formula)

• Revised
  theses:

  • Careful
    manipulation of data allows a researcher to use statistics to
    support any claim she desires.

  • In
    order to ensure accurate reporting, journalists must understand the
    real significance of the statistics they report.

  • Because
    advertisers consciously and unconsciously manipulate data, every
    consumer should learn how to evaluate statistical claims.

Avoid
formula and generic words. Search for concrete subjects and active
verbs, revising as many “to be” verbs as possible. A few
suggestions below show how specific word choice sharpens and
clarifies your meaning.

• Original:
  “Society is…” [who is this “society” and what
  exactly is it doing?]

• Revised:
  “Men and women will learn how to…,” “writers can
  generate…,” “television addicts may chip away at…,”
  “American educators must decide…,” “taxpayers and
  legislators alike can help fix…”

• Original:
  “the media”

• Revised:
  “the new breed of television reporters,” “advertisers,”
  “hard-hitting print journalists,” “horror flicks,”
  “TV movies of the week,” “sitcoms,” “national
  public radio,” “Top 40 bop-til-you-drop…”

• Original:
  “is, are, was, to be” or “to do, to make”

• Revised:
  any great action verb you can concoct: “to generate,” “to
  demolish,” “to batter,” “to revolt,” “to
  discover,” “to flip,” “to signify,” “to
  endure…”

Use
your own words in thesis statements; avoid quoting. Crafting an
original, insightful, and memorable thesis makes a distinct
impression on a reader. You will lose credibility as a writer if you
become only a mouthpiece or a copyist; you will gain credibility by
grabbing the reader with your own ideas and words.

A
well-crafted thesis statement reflects well-crafted ideas. It signals
a writer who has intelligence, commitment, and enthusiasm.