Road Rage

I grew up with someone that took their emotions out on the road while in the driver’s seat. They would swerve the steering wheel, skidding wherever their anger took them. From clutching onto the seat belt faithfully and praying to survive the trip, I learned just how important safe and responsible driving is. I used to dream of becoming old enough to be able to drive myself in a safe manner where I would never endanger myself or anyone else on the road.

However, when the time came, I found myself paralyzed. Due to my past experiences with driving, I was terrified to take on the wheel. I could not bring myself to study for the permit test and continued to put it off for almost a year. While everyone around me was getting their temporary permits and even gifted brand new cars, I felt that I did not have access for anyone to teach me how to drive safely.

Eventually, the hassle of finding a ride everywhere and the feeling of restriction and isolation while all my teenage friends were experiencing new freedoms with their driving privileges, I marched myself to my parents, and to YouTube. After months of studying and practice, I got signed up for in-cars.

During these lessons, I became very close with my driving instructor. She was one of the first people that used kindness and compassion to teach me how to drive. As someone that was always used to getting scolded on the road, it was a wonderful change of pace. I took full advantage of these lessons and asked questions I was too afraid to ask before. The simple eight hours I spent with Pam truly influenced my perspective on driving. She taught me that it didn’t have to be so scary. With her help, I passed the driver’s test on the first try and finally got my license right before my 17th birthday.

As fate would have it, I got into a mild car accident shortly after. I was driving on my own to grab a coffee. As I was leaving my parking spot, I scraped by the car next to me. It turns out that parking between two cones was not the same as parking between two cars. I remember being stricken with fear. No one was hurt, the owner of the other car was not around, but I knew I had to tell somebody. There was nobody I felt safe telling. I cried in my car with my head in my hands until someone knocked on my window. Surprisingly enough, it was not the owner of the other car but a passerby who just happened to be grocery shopping nearby.

She asked me if I was okay and to come inside the building with her so she could help me sort things out. It genuinely felt as though she was an angel sent from heaven who came to save me. Her kind smile and consoling gesture helped me slow my breath and calm down. I followed her and she talked to a worker for me so we could find the car owner. She even called my parents for me using my phone because I was too scared. When it was over, she gave me a hug and told me everything would be alright before I got into the car with my screaming parents. I will never forget this act.

Being in a car is a lot like being behind a screen. On our phones, people feel free to say anything they want to whomever they please with the shield of a so-called mask of anonymity. On the road, our windshields holding together the metal walls of a car have the same effect. From a crude gesture to obscene language, “road rage” is a term coined as a common, supposedly relatable concept. However, this is a culturally-ingrained normality that must be eradicated for the safety of oneself and others.

Although anger on the road may be justified at times, it never leads to a good experience for anyone. There is a particular lesson from driver’s education that stuck with me: Avoid driving if you are feeling sick, physically or mentally. When I’m scared to death behind the wheel, it is not the screaming or cursing from those I know that brought me out of my shell, but the unparalleled compassion of complete strangers that have taught me to feel safe and confident in the driver’s seat.