In a Flash

On March 3,1973 my paternal grandparents were both killed in a car accident just a few miles from their home.  Sleeping in their beds were my dad, age 3, and both of his siblings, ages 6 and 8.  

My grandmother was a child actor featured in magazines and radio and television in the 1940’s and 50’s. My grandfather was an accountant for a publishing company in New York City. They were actively involved in their community and loved by so many people. But in a flash, my family’s lives would be altered in a way no one would have ever imagined. My dad and my aunt and uncle woke up the next morning without their parents. They would spend their young lives in the care of their maternal grandmother, who at the age of 60, was granted full custody.

The tragic car accident happened in just a flash.  Newspaper articles suggested my grandfather saw a light and swerved.  Maybe the light he saw was another car? At the time, the parkway they were driving on did not have streetlights. Was it too dark? Very possible. Sadly, they were not wearing seat belts. I recently read seat belts were considered optional then and weren’t even made standard equipment in American cars until the mid-1960’s. In 1984, New York State became the first state to enact a mandatory seat belt law. Fortunately, continued education for car safety and drivers and passengers has led most states to adopt seat belt laws. We may never know what caused the fatal accident of my grandparents, but we do know the impact it left on our family. This tragedy has led my family to educate others about driving safely.

I recently read there were almost 1,800 fatal car crashes in the state of North Carolina in the year 2023. That’s an increase of almost two hundred from the year 2020. New drivers, especially young ones, have high crash rates. Studies have found that car accidents double when teenagers drive with one friend as a passenger and even triple when two or more passengers are added. I wonder how many of those happened in just a flash.

So, what can a seventeen-year-old do? I believe education is key to reducing the number of car fatalities. Where do we begin? Education begins in the home. Growing up, my siblings and I were educated on car safety by my parents. It was obviously very important to my dad and my mom.  Our family always had an open dialogue about what driving safely looked like. As young kids we were taught to always wear our seat belts, absolutely no texting or social media and no horsing around in the car.   My parents also made my siblings and I follow and adhere to our state’s driving requirements. As new drivers we were only permitted to drive during specific hours and limited to the number of passengers in the car under a specific age. I believe because my parents practiced safe driving habits now that I am a licensed driver, I am also practicing what they taught us.

Every time I get into the driver’s seat, I can hear my dad’s voice. Seat belt first, Jack. Eyes on the road. Both hands on the wheel.  No texting.  Keep your phone in the glove box to avoid distractions. Follow the speed limit. Be mindful of the drivers around you. Choose passengers you trust. Never drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Today there are plenty of options not to drive like calling an uber, parent or friend. Anyone you do not trust or feel could cause you distractions will make you feel less secure. These are messages I try to send whenever I am in the driver’s seat.

Research shows that peers learn best from their friends so I strongly believe that if I practice safe driving, I will leave a positive impact on anyone who rides in the car with me.  Sometimes knowing the facts is just not enough. I’ve seen too many of my friends practice unsafe driving. Girlfriends applying makeup at the red light, music blaring on the radio, texting while driving, and even passengers in the backseat not wearing seatbelts are all too frequent occurrences. I was always taught that driving is a privilege and a skill that should be earned and not given. Hopefully, sharing the story of my family’s tragedy with my friends and modeling cautious driving will keep them safe and help them develop safe driving habits. I don’t want anyone’s life to change in a flash like my family’s.