Driven to Heal

In May of this year, I had a wreck that undoubtedly altered my perspective on driving. At the time, I was emotionally distraught, overwhelmed by the weight of unresolved emotions, and consumed by a storm of thoughts that clouded my ability to focus. My mind was anything but clear, and in my distracted state, I found myself behind the wheel, trying to outrun emotions instead of addressing them. The result was a collision that could have been much worse than it was. While I walked away relatively unharmed, the accident left a deep impression on me. From that moment on, I made a solemn vow: I would never again get behind the wheel of a car unless I was of sound mind and emotionally stable. Little did I know, that lesson would take on a much deeper meaning in the months to come.

In September, my partner Charity was in a devastating car accident on a major highway in Mississippi. She was driving at 65 mph when another driver attempted to cross the highway with very little space for her to react. There was no time to stop, no time to avoid the collision. The other driver died on the scene, and Charity was left with a broken leg, weeks of hospitalization, and an uphill battle of physical and emotional recovery ahead of her.

In the aftermath of the accident, I learned that the driver who caused the collision had been emotionally distraught in the moments leading up to the crash. That detail struck me deeply, as it connected directly to my own experience. I was clearly able to see the consequences of emotionally impaired driving, and it was the harm we can cause ourselves and the harm we can cause others.

Charity’s accident forced me to confront the reality of what happens when we let emotions take control of our actions on the road. I witnessed the pain and suffering it can cause. It caused pain and suffering not only for those directly involved in the accident, but for their families, friends, and communities. Charity’s recovery has been long and challenging. Her injuries require physical therapy, emotional support, and a complete restructuring of her daily life. The accident has also brought financial strain, as we navigate medical bills, therapy costs, and logistical hurdles without adequate insurance coverage.

As I reflected on both my own experience and hers, I realized how much was at stake every time we sit behind the wheel of a car. Driving is an inherently dangerous activity and so many of us take it for granted. We think of it as routine, something we do on autopilot, without considering how much responsibility it carries. Charity’s accident solidified for me the importance of not only driving with a clear mind but also ensuring that we take every possible precaution to protect ourselves and others.

This experience has transformed the way I approach driving in my everyday life. It’s not just about getting from one place to another, but about doing so safely and responsibly. I’ve become an advocate for safe driving practices, encouraging others to think critically about their habits behind the wheel. I’ve spoken to friends, family, and colleagues about the importance of:

1. Driving with a Clear Mind: Our mental and emotional state directly impacts our ability to react quickly and make sound decisions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or upset, it’s better to wait, take a moment to collect yourself, or find another way to get where you need to go.

2. Driving Clean and Insured: Charity’s accident highlighted how vital insurance coverage is, not just for ourselves but for others on the road. Driving without insurance puts everyone at risk. It’s an essential part of being a responsible driver and citizen.

3. Taking Defensive Driving Courses: Education is a powerful tool for prevention. Defensive driving courses can teach valuable techniques for staying safe on the road, anticipating potential dangers, and avoiding accidents.

4. Taking Care of Your Mind and Body: Ultimately, you can only be as good of a driver as your brain is sharp and your body is well-rested. This means prioritizing mental health, getting enough sleep, and addressing any issues that could impair your ability to drive safely.

This journey has also taught me that safe driving is about caring for ourselves and others. It’s about acknowledging the shared responsibility we all must make the roads safer for everyone. When we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally; we make better decisions and reduce the likelihood of causing harm.

Through this experience, I’ve also found a new sense of purpose. I want to use my story and Charity’s to inspire others to think differently about driving. I want people to know that it’s okay to pause, to take a break, to say, “I’m not in the right headspace to drive right now.” Those moments of reflection could save lives.I also hope to encourage a cultural shift toward viewing driving as a privilege, not a right. It’s something that comes with immense responsibility, and we owe it to ourselves and others to take that responsibility seriously.

In many ways, Charity and I are still in the middle of this journey. Her recovery is ongoing, and we’re continuing to navigate the challenges that come with rebuilding after a traumatic event. But through it all, I’ve found strength in the lessons we’ve learned and the changes we’ve made. Safe driving isn’t just about avoiding accidents, but about creating a mindset of care, awareness, and accountability. It’s about recognizing that our actions have consequences and doing everything we can to make those consequences positive. My hope is that by sharing this story, others will feel inspired to take their own steps toward safer, more mindful driving and remember that every choice we make behind the wheel matters.