Leadership and Self-Advocacy Behind the Wheel

On October 15, 2008, I was told that my only brother was killed in a car accident when a school bus collided with his car. The bus driver admitted the bus was full of unruly teenaged children going to school in the morning. I only bring this up because it highlights a very important detail that might be missed in a standard driver’s education curriculum: distracted driving. It also highlights why this subject is very close to my heart.

At least in my driver’s education curriculum, we were hyper-focused on the technical aspects of driving and the information required to pass our written test. Learning from a book and acquiring necessary muscle memory are only a part of the equation when learning how to drive. What traditional driver’s education fails to discuss is even a baseline of information on how to advocate for yourself as a driver when driving with unruly passengers. It certainly does not include information on how to confront peer pressure while behind the wheel. It becomes evidently clear that, even in the case of an adult who is a driver by profession, unruly passengers can become a severe hazard on the road. Moreover, even adults do not have the skills to quell unruly passengers, let alone teens driving with their friends and significant others for the first time.

Most teenagers, at one time or another, drive with peer passengers. It is considered a rite of passage in a way. Every teen is susceptible to peer pressure and succumbs to the desire to accept their peers’ unruly behavior. This type of reaction is not uncommon and is derived from a newfound freedom and independence of driving and riding without parental supervision. As a former educator, I can tell you that there are hardly any classes or resources for teens on how to advocate for yourself or how to deal with a difficult (or dangerous) situation. It is of the utmost importance to include discussions and tools for young drivers to refer to if/when in these dangerous situations arise.

I learned to drive a very long time ago (let’s not talk about that), but this aspect of driver’s education has not changed. I taught high school alternative education for years and now I am a parent of two young children. I have had to learn the hard way how to de-escalate and settle a group of kids, but teenagers are typically not parents and have never been in a situation where they are the “boss” in charge of the people riding with them. Nobody ever gave me information on how to de-escalate an unruly passenger. Nobody ever told me ways to stand up for myself or even that, when you feel unsafe, you have the option to stop the car until all passengers are settled. Nobody goes over these simple tools and options because the standard driver’s education curriculum is, again, focused on the written information and the physical processes of driving.

So, how does this translate effectively into driver’s education and how can adults generally help teens become better drivers? We need to include discussions, information, and practice exercises on how to handle unruly passengers and/or how to get yourself out of the situation if necessary. We need to include exercises to build self-esteem and leadership skills in driver’s education classes (probably in the general curriculum as well), so if an issue arises, a teen driver can confidently speak up for themselves and take control of their vehicle and its passengers. Lastly, we need to include concrete tactics to de-escalate passengers, tips on how to handle distracted driving and how to safely stop the car if necessary. We need more qualitative lessons that cater to the student and not to the test.

If driver’s education classes were truly concerned with the wellbeing of the person behind the wheel, they would start asking difficult management questions instead of asking teens to check their mirrors. Driver’s Ed teachers would teach how to formulate and lay out ground rules for passengers riding in a car, they would teach students how to safely stop the car if necessary until disruptions can be quelled and they would help build a repertoire for what to say to request passengers stop a disruptive behavior. They would teach to the student and to the worst-case scenario, instead of the best. This is important because, when disruptions happen behind the wheel, too often there is more than one life at stake. It is the driver’s responsibility to manage, not only their driving and observation behind the wheel, but also to manage their surroundings. This includes passengers and other distractions, but I do not see this in today’s driver’s education curriculum. Let us teach to the student, not to a test, because if we fail a test, we can always retake it, but if we fail a student, there are much bigger consequences.