Anxiety to Action

I have always feared driving. It didn’t matter if it was day or night or if the weather was good. My anxiety was as present as the seatbelt on my chest as I sat watching cars pass by. My brother was content to relax in the back, listening to music. I’ve always envied him for that. I used to always think of how car accidents were the leading cause of death of children, how every 15 minutes a fatal car accident occurs, how drivers are the most likely to pass away.

I live in Philadelphia; car crashes happen every day here. Growing up it was common to hear about it on the news and as a kid I was always surrounded by unsafe drivers. My mom was always late, so she always went 10 over the speed limit. My stepdad didn’t ever pass his driver’s test but my mom worked full time, so she sometimes let him drive around to do errands. My family was poor, so the car was rarely up to inspection and at some point it became cheaper to buy inspection stickers than get the car in good condition. I think that’s what started the anxiety, as well as the terrifying videos of what not using your seatbelt can do to one of those grey test dummy videos they showed in elementary school.

One time when I was six or seven years old, I had a ballet recital at a nursing home. I was a snowflake in the Nutcracker, so of course I wanted my entire family to see me. My mom was going to drive there with my grandmother, aunts, and brother after she finished her shift at Target. Since I needed to be there an hour early my stepdad’s friend, Cory, would drive me and my stepdad there. So, there I was in the backseat in my little snowflake leotard with my tutu on the seat next to me. My stepdad was in the front passenger seat and Cory was in the driver seat. I used to call Cory my uncle. He was always driving me to my ballet classes when my mom couldn’t, he dislocated his shoulder teaching me to skateboard and he taught me how to play Call of Duty. He also taught me to be a safe driver. Because that night, he wasn’t. On my way to my recital, he acted fine, joking and laughing, as he swerved and went above the speed limit. My stepdad did nothing. The recital went well, and my family congratulated me. On the way back, I got into my mom’s van and my stepdad and his friend got into the truck.

Our van made it back to the house first. Cory and my stepdad didn’t come back until my mom picked them up from the hospital. That night Cory had been drunk and on the way back Cory had hit another car, damaging the car and his truck. Both groups were okay however Cory had broken his arm. That night Cory taught me to be a safe driver but also to be a safe passenger. My stepdad talked about how he should’ve switched out for Cory. That a ticket was better than a DUI, or worse.

This experience is the most memorable of all the unsafe driving I grew up around. But just because I do not drive does not mean I want to sit idly by and watch. I want to turn my anxiety and negative experiences into action and impact. Some steps I have taken to help those around me to be a safer driver are to educate them about the dangers of unsafe driving, prevent my family from driving unsafely, as well as help my friends when they may be in a situation where they may drive unsafely. However, there is so much more that I want to do to help lower the rates of car accidents and car-related deaths.

One idea I would like to execute would be an educate program to help educate teenagers about the dangers of unsafe driving and how to be safer drivers. I personally believe drivers’ education programs are not comprehensive enough and while they do help teach safe driving habits they do not stress the impact unsafe driving can have and are viewed as inaccessible or unnecessary by many. Many of my friends learned how to drive from their parents because driving school was seen as too expensive when their parents could teach them.

I believe that discussing the risks of unsafe driving as well as how to be a safe driver with teenagers over several weeks could help them make the decision to be safer drivers. Ideally it would also discuss ways for participants to be safer passengers as what to do in the event of accidents. Though I currently do not have the means to produce such a program, I hope through my time competing in pageants and volunteer work I can do this eventually. Hopefully my anxiety that has always sat in the car seat with me can help another person be less anxious and be a better driver.