Why I won’t be like my Dad

How old were you when you got your driver’s license? Probably around the ages of 16-18 right? That’s how old my friends were when they got their license. I recently got mine at the age of 19. I remember all my friends teasing me about taking so long. And for a while, I just made excuses about not having time or being busy with school. But the truth is that I was scared. And not just “normal” scared about falling on the road test or driving on large highways. I was scared that I would end up like my dad. I knew something was going on with my dad. I never really saw him often because he was always working but when I did see him, there was always something there that felt off. I could never really place it because I was so young. It was only when I got older that I realized what it was.

I was around 5 years old when I experienced my first car accident with my dad. He was driving me and my cousin to preschool. I was listening to the new Adele album on my sister’s CD player. I knew I wasn’t gonna be allowed to bring it to school but I might as well enjoy it on my way to school. I remember that day so clearly. I was not paying attention at all until the accident happened. My dad was approaching a stop sign and to this day I’m not sure if he stopped or not, but the next thing I knew my dad slammed on the brakes and the light brown SUV hit us. It wasn’t that bad and everyone was ok but it was scary. When the cops came, they arrested my dad for drunk driving for the first time.

That wasn’t the last time my dad was arrested for drunk/reckless driving. And it wasn’t the last time I saw it happen right in front of me. While he was with my family my dad was in jail more times than I could remember. When he was gone for a long time, it was safe to assume that he was arrested. It was more of a surprise when he was home. I know that most people would think that it would have been easier if he stopped driving. And that would have been a good solution if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the only one who knew how to drive. After seeing how bad it had gotten I was scared to even be sitting behind the wheel. Especially after the 5 DUIs, my dad had gotten. He was eventually deported after his last arrest. That court date was the last time I saw my dad in person. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

As soon as my sisters were old enough to learn they took over the drive. My oldest sister is a really good driver. Better than my older sister. I felt safe when they drove. And while they have gotten in accidents before (no one’s perfect), It wasn’t caused by the same reasons my dad was. It was a nice change that made me want to learn too. The older my sisters got, the more my mom relied on me. She doesn’t know how to drive so I knew I would be the one to drive her around. My older sister taught me how to drive and the minute I hit the road, I was hooked. It was such a relaxing and rewarding experience. At that moment I knew that I wasn’t going to be like my dad. I was gonna earn my license and practice safe driving to hopefully teach my mom or even my younger sister.

I felt the full range of safe driving when I started to date my current partner. He lives 30 minutes away from my house but about an hour away from my college. I knew that this was going to be another reason to drive safely. I always want us to come back to each other in one piece. So I set up my road test as soon as possible. I passed on the first try and was ready to take on the important responsibilities of driving that my sisters were so amazing to show me and that my dad just never had. My dad may not have had a good enough reason to drive safely, but I can confidently say that every time I drive, I’m thinking of my sisters, my mom, my partner, and my niece and soon-to-be nephew. Those are the people that I want to come home to every time. That’s how I know I won’t be like my dad.