My Driving Journey: Learning How to Accept and Navigate Adulthood

I never wanted to learn how to drive. When I had reached my fifteenth birthday, everyone started treating me differently. Where, rather than everyone greeting me with “happy birthday,” I was asked “Aren’t you so excited to get behind the wheel?” In their eyes, I appeared ecstatic about starting this new journey. But, in reality, I was terrified. I have never experienced any life threatening car accidents, or witnessed my friends or family driving irresponsibly; yet, I have always feared the idea of acting as the sole person responsible for whether I make it home safely, or not. I was overwhelmed by the pressure. I have always welcomed the safe feeling that was present whenever my mom drove me around, where I never worried about us replacing the people and cars that we saw on the side of the road after an accident. Nonetheless, whenever we passed by these accidents, my parents never failed to warn me about how I always need to pay attention to the roads, stay off my phone, and keep two hands on the wheel. But, their words drowned out while I was busy looking out the window, curious about the people sitting behind an airbag, standing on the phone beside the wreckage, or talking with the driver who hit them. And, while I forced away the image of me or my family replacing the people in the dented, picked apart cars I always pried my eyes away saying a prayer to any higher power and begged that we would never be in their situation one day.

While this nagging feeling stayed present in my adolescent life leading up to the age of fifteen, the closer I got to the pivotal birthday, the more my fear was masked by anticipation. When I reached fifteen years old and sat in the driver’s seat of my dads’ 2016 Honda Civic for the first time, I realized how driving could actually be enjoyable. For the first time, I was able to experience the positive aspect of freedom that driving provides, and it was within my grasp. In my head, I ran through all of my imagined scenarios, where I would pick up my friends in the morning for school, blasting music and singing along to our current favorite Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift song, or getting food after a long day and catching up on the latest boy drama. Interrupting my daydreaming, my dad taught me all the complicated rules of four way stops, the meaning of blinking red stop lights and yellow yield turn arrows after several instances of hard braking and worrisome turns. But, with countless practice in my high school parking lot and local neighborhoods, I finally finished my dads’ version of driving school, I was able to take the drivers test shortly following my sixteenth birthday. I passed!

However, my joy for my newfound independence and freedom was limited. By the time I reached seventeen, I loathed driving. Where, as a student-athlete, my only breaks in between going to school, doing homework, eating dinner, and going to practice, were my twenty minutes to look at my phone and catch up on social media that I missed throughout the day. As a result, I began to see driving more as a chore than a luxury, where I couldn’t look at my phone or nap at all during the duration of the ride, I was forced to pick the one playlist I wanted (what if it didn’t have the song I wanted on it?), and I had to stay seated in one position while I drove. And, regardless of how well I knew the rules of the road, nothing would prepare me for the amount of distractions I would begin to allow during my time behind the wheel.

As I grew more comfortable with my driving abilities and familiarity with the roads, I became more lenient and, instead of placing my phone on ‘do not disturb,’ I began to switch my music at stoplights, looked down at my phone to make sure that I was keeping up with my maps accurately, and even ate breakfast or dinner on my half hour drive to work or practice when I was running a few minutes behind schedule. And, while I realize that these actions are harmful towards my safety on the road, I continued to engage in these small actions for the sake of making my ride semi-enjoyable.

However, this is not a long-term solution. Unfortunately, my wake up call was this past year, when I rear-ended a car while I was driving home from work one day, in which I quickly glanced down to look at my directions and was met with a jolt that vibrated throughout my car. Panic, fear, and disappointment immediately set in, where I had never imagined myself to be someone that would be so negligent to rear-end someone, and by looking at their phone of all things. Following various family conversations regarding safe driving, I had placed my phone on ‘do not disturb’ again, and received an Amazon package for a car phone holder.

While it is easier said than done, in order to reduce the number of deaths that occur annually due to reckless driving, we must begin to intrinsically enforce rules for ourselves while driving on the road. And, instead of following in my footsteps, drivers need to become more proactive in taking the appropriate steps to protect their lives while in a vehicle, such as finding a podcast or playlist to listen to before getting on the road, or even utilizing the Siri feature that is installed in cars today that is now available in newer cars (which my generation rarely utilizes). Additionally, driving education does not have to be nearly as informational and strict as it sounds, but rather it can be amongst friends, family, teammates, and co-workers. We are 50% more likely to listen and act on the advice from those close in our lives based on an established foundation of trust; and by simply talking about these situations, we can properly educate each other in an informal manner. I have also found a driving app to be incredibly helpful, where, as an incentive for better driving, my car insurance is lowered when I exhibit proper driving behavior. This app keeps track of my speed limit, if I use my phone when driving, and how hard I break, therefore allowing myself to keep track and note how to become a better driver for my safety and those around me. And, nobody graduates out of driver education, in which driving is a skill that everybody needs to safely practice at every age whether they take this luxury for granted or not. In conclusion, there is no reason why we, as a society, are unable to educate one another regarding proper driving etiquette, where not everybody is as lucky to have a rear-ending accident as their wake up call.