The Day I Woke Up

The biggest role models in my life have to be my two older siblings. They cared for and sheltered me from all the bad things in the world. I am so blessed to have siblings like them. So, you can imagine when hearing about my oldest sibling’s car accident my world came to a stop. 

I was on a trip with a friend out of state when I got the phone call. It was from my oldest sibling’s friend from college. I don’t remember what I was doing with my friend at the time, but those words on the phone will forever haunt me. “Your oldest sibling is in the hospital; their car flipped.”  Inevitably, I tried contacting my family or even my siblings’ other friends. Yet I was left with nothing. It was a full 24 hours till I heard the news that my oldest sibling was okay. The next time I saw my oldest sibling, I gave them the biggest hug and cried my eyes out. 

My oldest sibling stayed with us that following fall, and to me, it was the greatest time of my life. After that scare, I wanted to spend every minute of the day with my oldest sibling. Yet I noticed something off with my oldest sibling. Some darkness was in their eyes that I hadn’t seen before. Usually, the times with my siblings would be filled with laughter and silly arguments. Yet now there was a tension in the air that hadn’t been there before. 

Throughout my whole life, I had an understanding of the meaning of mental health. My mother suffered from a bad depression and bipolar disorder. Yet, as my older siblings, they protected me from all the bad from it. They protected me so much that I never really saw it in my siblings. Especially my oldest sibling. In the months before the accident, I didn’t notice the dark eyebags in their eyes on Facetime calls. Or the loud arguments on the phone with my mother about college. The stress of growing up and college life got to my oldest sibling. So, one night, in the darkest hour of my bedroom, my oldest sibling told me everything. For once, they were real to me and sheltered me no more. I woke up. 

My sibling had admitted to purposely flipping the car. I cried with them for so long that night. I had never, let alone someone who was that close to me, openly admitted to wanting to be gone from this world. I finally saw the reality of how low someone’s mental health can be. 

After the talk, I forced my siblings to get help, so they did. They went to the hospital and were admitted for a little over a month. That month, I took a lot of time to look into mental health and how to see the signs of struggles along with how to help someone. You can never see the signs till it’s too late. Thankfully, I wasn’t too late. 

Mental health is a topic that needs to be discussed more in driving education. Talk about how to see the signs in not only other people but especially in yourself. It is important to discuss what you should do when having a mental health crisis in the middle of driving.  During this time, some would think it is an obvious choice to pull over and call for help. Yet, when you are so low on your health, that may not be so obvious. Just as steps are told in driving education to parallel park or even how to merge onto a new lane on the highway. There should be strict steps in what to do if driving with poor mental health conditions. I came with the PBC. Park, breathe, and call. This reminder can be such a large positive influence for people struggling with their mental health who are driving. Allowing someone to understand how to stop their car, take a moment to breathe, and be able to call someone for help could save someone’s life when driving.

I thank the stars every day that no one was hurt during my siblings’ car accident. I’m also thankful for my oldest sibling for opening my eyes to mental health and driving safety. Driving is a really scary thing. Talking about mental health and how to care for not only yourself but others will help reduce the death rate when driving. I understand that driving education aims to get people educated and ready just for the road. Yet how can one be ready for the road or even the world of the road when they can’t probably take care of their mental health? Let the topics of mental health and how to care for it be in driving education. I wish for no one ever to have to go through what I did with my oldest sibling.