Never Gets Easier

Your heart beats so fast you feel like the whole world is moving slower, suddenly the feeling of reality becomes fuzzy. No matter how many times it happens the same feelings creep in, panic and confusion. Four times in my life I have felt that panic and confusion like the world almost seems to have shifted. The first time it was me, I was young and my dad was taking me home late at night. I can’t remember anything about the beginning of the day but the moment I got into the car until the moment I heard my dad yell if I’m ok is perfectly pictured in my mind. So clearly I remember, racing to the back seat of the truck and slamming the door to escape the cold. You would think it happened yesterday. It could have been mid December or January by the snow I remember piled on the sides of the road and the amount of layers I had wrapped around me. I was begging my dad to let me go sledding with my friends tomorrow, pleading and being as annoying as ever when suddenly I shifted to the other side of the backseat. We were spinning and I remember it happening so suddenly and stopping even sooner as we went right into the side of the road. I felt the panic of my heart racing the confusion as I tried to understand what had just happened. What snapped me out was my dad yelling if I was ok, I don’t know how many times he called for me before I could register his voice. I said yes with a break in voice I had never heard from myself before. He asked if I was wearing my seatbelt which made me quickly yanked it next to me as I said “yes”. I lied.

We were very lucky, the truck hit a pile of snow that had filled the ditch that would normally be there. I got way too lucky, and since then I have yet to get in a car without my seatbelt and wont drive an inch till I know everyone else has theirs on. I learned my lesson with very little consequences. I know how dangerous and unpredictable accidents in cars can happen. Following that night with my dad, I have had to be sat down three times and told someone I care about is being taken to the hospital following an accident. The first would be my sister. She got a ride home from swim practice one night with a friend, they were on an icy road and ended up head on into a pole. She got lucky too, walking away with a major concussion and some bruising. The second time was my best friend I had spent my life growing up with, attached at the hip most days. One night she went for a drive to see a friend and was hit by a drunk driver. Luckier than most she survived and I got to spend time with her as she recovered physically and be there for her mentally.

The third time has been the worst, maybe every other time was preparing me for it but no matter what it even now scares me. Early in the morning I texted my boyfriend, and an hour later I got a text from his brother that their mom needed to talk to me. When I answered the phone my boyfriend’s mom told me he had been struck by a car around two in the morning when his fire company responded to an accident on the highway. My boyfriend and three fellow first responders were hit by a car who ran up the shoulder of the accident they had been working on. I felt the panic hit me and make me shake the confusion flooding in as a million questions screamed in my head. The utter fear that in an instant someone you love can be put in danger because of someone driving recklessly id consuming. That day my boyfriend and three others were taken to the hospital for life threatening injuries. My boyfriend and two others survived that accident, one didn’t. One mistake took a man’s life and left many mourning. Driving is an everyday thing we all do so casually and hardly have the time to take a moment to think about what we’re doing wrong. We forget to check for a seatbelt, speed cause we’re late, cut a curve a little too close, go around the lines cause we’ve got better places to be and when we do that we put ourselves plus the loved ones of others at risk. We all need to understand the risks and think before we get on the road, after everything I know I make sure I take every precaution I can to do my part in keeping people safe on the roads.