When It Happened To Me

It happened 2 years ago in February. It honestly still haunts me to this day. I remember it like it’s a vivid dream. It was a Saturday morning and I was out with my aunt, my grandma, and my three-year-old cousin. We were on our way to pay my grandma’s phone bill. I remember it being a bright and sunny day, the sky had the type of clouds you see in animated movies. The radio was playing Disney to keep my cousin entertained. I, of course, was singing along because I love Disney songs. I remember it being a long car ride from my house, but I didn’t mind because I loved long car rides. We were talking about my cousin’s party that was to take place the next day. My family is notorious for going all out on birthdays, so it was safe to say that we were all so excited about the events we thought we happen in the next 24 hours. It was a big milestone, and we couldn’t wait to get together to celebrate it.

But nothing happened like we expected to. I swear to you, it came of nowhere. One second we were talking about my cousin’s party while listening to A Whole New World playing in the background, and in the next, we were hit. I was hit. I was sitting passenger side of my aunt’s car. This large van came crashing into my door. I felt all the air in my lungs disappear, I felt my vision going blurry, and I was slowly starting to lose all feeling in my legs and head. At that moment all I could think about was my mom. I didn’t know if I was okay, and I didn’t know if I was going to survive, because I know that at the speed we were hit, one of us might not have been okay. But were, in a way. I felt liquid running down my head, I heard the cries of my grandmother and cousin in the back seat, and my aunts yell of panic. My mind was in such a haze, everything around was blurry but clear. I had no idea what was happening outside the vehicle, all I knew was that I was involved in my very first car crash.

I don’t remember getting out of the car. I do remember holding my 3-year-old cousin in my arms while my aunt gave a police statement and while the firemen attended to my grandma since she has a heart condition. I didn’t speak, and I didn’t move. I don’t think I could’ve if I wanted to. The driver of the vehicle that hit us came over to check on us and give their statement. It was a man, I remember his face. He looked around 45-50 years old and he was tall and white, he wore a white shirt with a flannel over it with loose boot cut jeans, and he wore large glass that looked like magnifying glasses. He was driving with his mother and grandmother in the car. Both women looked like they would not have survived the crash as we did. He admitted that he shouldn’t have been driving because he had just taken his medication. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel.

That whole day, I couldn’t speak. My mind felt like it was running around a track field and it couldn’t stop. Everyone around me kept asking me if I was alright, and I didn’t have an answer to give them. I wasn’t alright. I was scared of going to the hospital because that meant that I’d have to get in a car again. Each time they tried to get me to go in, I yelled and kicked and begged to not go in. I had to though. I had to fight every fear in my body, and go to the hospital because I was in such a state of shock that it was concerning everyone around me.

It took me 3 months to be able to build up the courage again to sit passenger in a car. Ever since then, I get extreme anxiety when entering a car. I’ve learned to live with my anxiety, but that lingering thought is always there. Every once in a while, I hear my subconscious ask, “What if it happens again? What if it happens right now?”. I have postponed getting my license because I am afraid of getting in an accident again.

I never understood the importance of safe and conscious driving until I was faced with a real-life experience. I would never wish for anyone to experience what I have, so I hope you learn to drive safely and be considerate of others around you when you drive because you never know when it’ll happen to you.