The Struggle of Perseverance

The Struggle of Perseverance

“Never tell me the odds” -Han Solo

Essays like this can come a dime a dozen, and people may read them and overlook them, or not take them seriously. I implore the reader, to take these words seriously, no matter how carefree and protected they might think they are, their life is fragile. I had to come to terms with this the moment I awoke from consciousness in the destroyed tin can that was my car. The steering wheel in my ribs nearly broke all of my ribs and the seatbelt that was put in the car for safety precautions nearly destroyed my intestines in their entirety. The smoke from the engine filled my lungs and the ringing in my head was the equivalent of some storm siren going off. I persevered through the injuries I had sustained and was able to walk again, with a new sense of awareness and love for life. However, others may not. Others lives may be taken from them, leaving their families and friends with a void that can’t be filled, all because of some insignificant text or a fun, fleeting night, drinking and partying with friends. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye, and in that same blink of an eye, an entire life can be changed, ruined, or completely snuffed out.

When I got into my car crash, it was a normal day like any other in the month of August. I was at work when it started to drizzle. I had paid it no mind and simply drove home from my shift at the local Hannaford on my normal route, although I was going abnormally fast for conditions. Because the road was still slick, and it had only been raining for about 15 minutes or so, I took a turn too sharply and hydroplaned, right into my neighbor’s yard, and subsequently their tree. At first, I had no idea what had happened. I faded in and out of consciousness while my neighbor called for emergency services. I thought, right then and there, my life was ruined. I thought I had died or I was about to. I kept giving up, over and over, in my head. I wished for death, because the pain I had felt was so extreme. I had hoped that my parents wouldn’t see me in the state I was, because I felt so ashamed and that shame followed me for the next 5 or so months, while I recovered. I had kept thinking that my life was going downhill. I thought about the consequences of my accident, an accident that was my fault. The speed at which I was going was too monumentally fast and thinking about it causes me to shudder even now. I have to take another year of school, another year of loans, simply because I was unable to pay it myself, for I needed a new vehicle.

Oftentimes I still feel this way. I still feel that that accident should have killed me, but I am joyful in other aspects, that I am still alive. I found that, while I was healing in the hospital, that many of my friends and much of my family came to visit me. I never had fully realized the sheer amount of people who cared so deeply for me. It took this accident to make me realize that simple fact, but my hope is that others do not need to learn that fact that way. Driving is a necessity in this day and age and I often catch myself thinking of whether or not we could live without it. I suppose we could, but it would be much more difficult, that’s why the stories of people who have lost loved ones that are often seen during drivers’ ed classes are not to be taken lightly. They aren’t cheesy music videos from the 90s about the no-zone behind a semi-truck, they are stories from real people who lost someone important to them, who they can no longer see, talk to, touch, or laugh with. My story can be shared through me, myself and I. However, if something had gone even slightly differently, that may not have been the case.

That being said, perseverance, even in the face of impossible odds, is one of the most admirable qualities a person can have. An even more important quality is the ability to inspire that kind of perseverance in others. One of the most important people that I saw the days I was in the hospital was my physical therapist. She was and is one of the most kind people I had ever met, and she was very easy to talk to. We became friends instantly, and she convinced me that it was a bad idea to quit my classes at the University of Maine altogether, because I would most likely become stagnant, which could possibly lead to depression. I told her I didn’t know what to do, but we came up with a compromise. I would take online classes, because there was no way that I would be able to travel to my classes physically. Although, I still, at times experience depression surrounding this event, I can say with utmost certainty that she was right. I never expected someone who was paid each day to talk to people and help them to care so deeply about each and every individual. She taught me that rebuilding myself started with rebuilding my attitude towards my situation.