Split-Second

I am a firm believer that having a drivers license is a privilege, not a requirement or right of passage. As a child I may not have understood this, and I remember thinking that it was my right. Turning 16 was a huge milestone and getting a license was my gift. I somehow thought I was deserving of such an honor and failed to understand the full extent of the responsibility that goes along with it. But just like any child, “my parents don’t know what they’re talking about”, and “they worry too much.” Now, as a mother myself, I realize what my parents were so worried about all the time!

When I was 15 years old my grandfather got into a car accident where he wasn’t at fault. My grandfather was very involved in his community church, and every Sunday he would offer to transport members that had no other means of transportation. On this particular Sunday he was in route to the Church with two members when a diesel truck ran a red light and struck them on the driver side of the vehicle. The member sitting behind my grandfather on the driver side died on impact. The member in the passenger seat suffered critical injuries and was hospitalized for 2 months before recovering with permanent debilitating injuries. My grandfather was paralyzed from the neck down and was given a 10% chance of survival beyond 1 week. This accident forever altered the lives of the two survivors and all family members involved and suffering the loss of a loved one.

My grandfather lived for 5 years following this accident, in a wheelchair without the ability to move his body from the neck down. Although he remained in high spirits for being alive, his mental status was forever altered by the inability to continue with an active lifestyle as he was accustomed to. The young man driving the diesel was driving too fast and made the decision not to brake at the risk of losing control of the oversized truck. This split-second decision cost a woman her life and altered the lives of so many others including himself. This split-second decision is what I have continued to drill into my children as they are learning to drive.

As a mother of five, with two teenage boys now driving, my days are filled with stress and worry every time my boys leave the house. I worry if they will be safe. Safe drivers with fast response time to other drivers’ mistakes. Will they stay off their phones? Will they drive the speed limit? Will they halt at yellow lights knowing they don’t have enough time to “beat the red light?” Will they watch for pedestrians? Will they always wear their seat belt? Will they refrain from consuming alcohol and driving? These are a few of the million things that go through my mind knowing my kids are behind the wheel of a vehicle.

Driver education informs new drivers of the rules and regulations when operating a vehicle. There are some stories and videos used in training to make new drivers aware of what can go wrong when you are not paying attention. But I feel that the more people speak out on the issue and share their personal stories the more aware all drivers will become. As an experienced driver myself, and now having children learning to drive I am a firm believer that driver’s education can only do so much. Its strong point is teaching what to do or not do when driving, but experience is really the only key to becoming a better driver. I tell my kids, the more you do it the better you will become. This is a rule I use with everything, but when it comes to driving, I really believe that experience is the best teacher. When you make a mistake you learn from it, you learn what not do to repeat the outcome. When you hear of other experiences, hopefully you learn from it as well. So, the more people share their experiences driving whether good or bad the more drivers will become aware.

The number one method to help reduce deaths related to driving is to be aware. Be aware of your surroundings and the laws. Be aware of your mental status before getting behind the wheel. Be aware of your passengers that you are taking responsibility for. You are accepting the responsibility of yourself and others when you sit behind that wheel, therefore it is your due diligence to be aware!

So, as a mother speaking for all mothers who worry. Wear your seatbelt, stay off your phone, don’t drink and drive, watch for pedestrians, drive the speed limit, remain calm and in control, and be aware! It only takes a split-second to take a life or forever alter the life of yourself and others. But it also takes a split second to correct wrong behavior and avoid life altering outcomes.