The Pact

I was in ninth grade. I woke up late at a friend’s house, and my phone died overnight. Once I got it charged enough to turn it on, I had a dozen missed calls from friends and family. Remy and Phil had gotten into a car accident last night. Phil was in the ICU and Remy did not make it. Remy called Phil to get a safe drive home from a party, but she didn’t know that he had also been drinking, and doing drugs.

When I went to visit Phil in the hospital, he was sobbing, profusely apologizing. He said he just wanted to make her laugh, so he sped up down “roller coaster hill”, and he doesn’t know how but they hit the big tree at the top. He woke up to Remy screaming, he couldn’t move one of his arms, and he could see his thigh bone was exposed and broken. He saw that Remy was stuck in between her seatbelt and the dashboard. He tried all he could to get her loose, but decided he should get out and try to pull her out from the other side. He rolled down his window and crawled out, but couldn’t get back up because of his broken leg. He said he had to lay there and listen to her screaming for help as she was caught in the flames of the car. A man from the house down the road came out to try and help her out of the car, but at that point, the flames were too big, the tree had now caught fire. Remy was gone.

This was the first friend I lost to a car accident. I lost three more before I left for college, all of which had been either behind the wheel or with someone who was driving under the influence. Garrett, the friend I lost sophomore year, was squished between his two best friends in a pick-up truck coming home from a party. Dan hit a street light and Garrett didn’t make it. Next was Kat, my junior year. Kat was supposed to be the designated driver for the evening. She thought that just a few drinks couldn’t hurt. The car was full of three other girls and when she flipped over a guard rail, nearly into a lake, she lost her life along with her friend Alyssa. Josh, my senior year, was driving his motorcycle after casually drinking with his girlfriend. It was an icy winter night and he slid around a corner, down the side of the mountain. I thought the streak might be over after graduating high school. I was wrong.

Mike, during my freshman year of college, and so far, my last friend to lose to a car accident, was walking home from the library with his two friends. All three were struck by a drunk 65-year-old man. This was the man’s second time hitting someone while drinking and driving. Mike was the only one not to survive. I had love for all of these friends, but for some reason, Mike’s hit me the hardest. I don’t know if it was because I got the most time with him, or if it’s because it truly was not his fault. Mike’s death was the result of someone else’s poor decision to drive while under the influence, not his own. I always knew it, but it was then that I truly realized how much you are at risk being on the road, or even walking near it; all because you cannot control other people’s decisions.

To me, ever since Remy, it has always seemed so foolish to get behind the wheel while under the influence. There is always another option, even if it is shameful to have to call someone and ask for a ride, or to have to stay the night wherever you are. Bearing the consequences of your parents’ wrath or being late to work is all so trivial compared to the potential consequences of driving under the influence. If you choose to do this, you not only put yourself and anyone else in the car with you at risk, but also anyone else on the road that may be in your vicinity.

Many kids do not understand the severity of this risk. It is important to pay attention to what you are taught during driver’s education so that you do not have to learn the hard way. I think it would be very influential to have a video of testimonials from other young drivers who have either been in an accident due to driving under the influence, or that have lost someone due to it. It may not have the same emotional effect as actually being in the situation yourself, but at least it can give kids an idea of what it would be like. Another idea would be to have the students attend a court hearing for a driving violation. This way, they can see for themselves how difficult it is to have to stand before a judge and explain your wrong doings, whatever it may be.

After Remy, my closest friends and I made a pact to always have one person every time we went out that would be the designated driver, no matter what. We decided if anything happened, we all had each other’s parent’s phone numbers and promised we would call them if it came down to not having a safe ride home. It is awkward and can be difficult to admit your fault, but it is worth it. It’s worth it not to wake up and have a dozen missed calls from friends and family trying to tell you one of your friends has passed. It’s worth it not to be responsible for taking someone else’s life. It’s worth it not to have to leave your friends and family with such an unbearable, lifelong loss. It’s worth it to save your own life.