Unanswered questions

September 10, 2011…This should be an exciting day because it’s my birthday? Yay! I’m 7 years old! We got our face painted, there was a piñata filled with candy and toys. Oh and I got a cool bike today and lots of gifts and cake and…wait, why is everyone sad now? Why are you crying? Where is everyone going? The parties over? Who died…

Why Uncle Mike, why?  Don’t you know you have 5 kids at home. You have a mom and dad and siblings. You have Aunts and Uncles…and friends and…me. Why Uncle Mike? Why did you get a motorcycle? Why didn’t  you go slower? Why didn’t your helmet save you? Did you have it on right?Why did you swerve? Why did you have to go head on into car? Why are you not here to celebrate with us? Why did you leave us? Why?

Each passing year I get older and there is a celebration for me. Am I selfish to not want any more Birthdays? Am I selfish for making this day about me when we really should be mourning him or celebrating his life?? Who really wants to celebrate this day? I know in the back of everyone’s mind is “He should be here”. His laugh should fill the room. Who is big enough to lift me high in the air and squeeze me with a hug only a big bear could give? Who cares about a birthday when there are people who no longer get to celebrate birthdays?

I can’t help but wonder if he had just left a minute earlier, would he have not felt rushed? If he just drove a little slower would he be here to hug us? If he didn’t

swerve into the other lane would he have just been injured? If he were in a car with seatbelts and not a motorcycle, exposed to so many ifs…would I still have my Uncle?

There are so many unanswered questions. Questions that will never be answered. New fears have been developed but there has been a lot learned with his untimely passing. New fear of mine…motorcycles. I know they say they are fun but I personally know they are dangerous. I know how much responsibility comes with driving a vehicle with only 2 wheels, no seat belt, and no walls to protect you.

We all believe we are not going to be a statistic. I know how cliche it is to say that “it won’t happen to me” that is until it does happen” Because it does happen and it happens every day. I drive now, a car of

course. Safety was a big concern when searching for a vehicle. Me being on the road probably scares my mom even more than me. I sometimes forget how dangerous it really is but my mom reminds me daily about being safe, responsible and alert. She reminds me often it not only can happen to me but to the passengers in my vehicle with me. Yes, I have had multiple scares before, even though I have only been driving a little over a year. With each scare a lesson is learned and a reminder that it can happen to me any time.

Motorcycle safety is very much an underestimated lesson. It is not only essential for the motorcyclists to participate in an educational driving course, I believe it too would be a valuable lesson for other drivers on the road as well. All drivers should be aware and look

out for motorcyclists. More education could potentially save a life.

I honestly don’t know if things could have been different that day my Uncle passed away. I don’t know if he suffered. I don’t know if it was quick. I don’t know if the road conditions had anything to do with it. I don’t know if the car ahead of him stopped suddenly. I don’t know if swerving to his right would have saved his life. I don’t know if he was scared.

As, I said before there will always be unanswered questions for me but even worse…his kids. I can’t imagine the unanswered questions they have or the feeling of losing your dad. Some of his children were too young to even get to know him. Can you imagine the questions they have? I can’t nor would I ever want to

experience the pain of their unanswered questions.

There are things that I do know. I do know my Uncle Mike is loved and missed every day. I do know we would do anything to have him here with us still. Why Uncle Mike, why?