What I Learned from My Uncle’s Death in a Car Accident

A year ago in August, I woke up to a text from my mom asking me to call her right away. When I called, she said, “Brace yourself.” I immediately knew there was some kind of bad news and my stomach twisted into knots. Then she said that my uncle had been killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. This was the fun, energetic uncle who got everyone together, helped family members to reconcile and talk to each other again, treated us to all kinds of ice cream since he was a salesman for it, and even drove over two hours each way to see me while on a business trip. When I visited Indiana, we would often go out to eat with him and his wife.

The night of the accident, he was driving his truck full of farm supplies. He had stayed home late to work in his fields and then was driving several hours to be with his son’s family. It was an Audi that hit his truck from the back. There were no skid marks—just a gouge in the road where the Audi hit. The police said the Audi was going at least 130 miles per hour. It was like a boomerang effect—the Audi stopped and the truck went into a high speed, rolling multiple times. My uncle was killed during the accident. The Audi driver got out of the car and fled the scene, but the police found him and arrested him. He is now facing years in prison. The car burst into flames and someone helped his passenger get out. I have 25 cousins on that side of the family and many of us showed up from all over the United States because he meant so much to all of us. We then held a reunion in March in honor of him.

When I was 15, my parents made me go to Drivers Ed so I could get my license as soon as possible. I was the oldest child and we lived in the country, five miles from town, so it was inconvenient to get rides to school and other functions. We would also often go on trips to visit family and they wanted help with the driving. At Drivers Ed, they made us watch videos that showed the awful effects of drunk driving and reckless driving. It was good they showed that to us. I wasn’t interested in drinking, but it solidified in my mind that it was important to drive carefully and wear a seat belt. Granted, my uncle was wearing a seat belt and still flew out of the truck as the seat belt was ripped out of the floor, but there is a greater chance of survival if you wear one.

Although I try to drive responsibly, I have at times made errors of judgment. Usually that happened when I was not paying attention or was driving a little too fast on a snowy or icy road. Once, I went around a warning about high water under an overpass and nearly floated. I decided not to do that again. Fortunately, I’ve never been in a major accident. My mom was hit from behind by a semi truck when she was waiting to turn left at the bottom of the hill. Two semis were following each other. The first one went around her on the right. The second one tried to do that too, but hit her. Her car spun a few times, but didn’t roll, and my four-year-old brother, who was sitting on the center console, was thrown into the back seat. The car was totaled, but we were so grateful they weren’t harmed.

I used to use my phone while driving, but eventually decided I should quit doing that. In 2012 to 2013, I was an intern and had to drive an extra distance to get from work to school. Even if my mentor called or texted about something urgent, I did not pick up the phone while driving. My car is old and doesn’t have a hands-free setup for phones so I’ve continued this practice. I try to stop beside the road if I need to urgently communicate with someone. Two of my brothers have bad habits of doing all kinds of things on their phones while driving. I’ve told them that it’s very unsafe and could cause an accident. I usually offer to write texts for them, look at the map, get food and drinks, and look things up, etc. Passengers can help reduce distracted driving by doing these sorts of things for drivers.

I wrote blogs for a personal injury lawyer and researched the statistics on distracted driving. Around 3,000 people die because of distracted driving every year. This is very avoidable. High speeds and impatient driving are also dangerous and avoidable. I’m one of the seemingly few Americans who drives close to the speed limit. I don’t drive under the speed limit, but I figure that I would rather get to my destination in one piece and also avoid the time drains and costly expenses of speeding tickets. People don’t really save that much time going at high speeds and they definitely don’t save money. People often brag about driving at high speeds, but I don’t think that’s anything to brag about.

When you’re on the road, you’re not only responsible for your own safety, but also for the safety of everyone in your car and all the other people on the road. A dumb or reckless decision on your part could have life-long consequences for you and other people. Now that I’ve had a much-loved uncle get killed in a car accident, I’m even more adamant about driving safely and responsibly.