Count the Costs

While losing my father to a vehicular-pedestrian accident, I have decided that I will not allow the trauma of my youth define who I am and who I will become. However, as often as possible, I will educate my peers on the dangers of distracted driving and excessive speed. Reluctantly, I need to move forward in life because I know my father would have wanted for me to pursue my dreams. I will continue to fight for my future to bring honor to both my father and myself.

My Father, Scott William Hutchison, died on a beautiful, hot, June day in 2015. Before learning of my father’s accident, I would have said it was the perfect day, playing in the pool at a friend’s house, not suspecting a thing could be wrong. However, my perfect day, and childhood, was swiftly stolen away by the most horrifying news a child can receive. My mother told me that my father had been killed by a speeding, unlicensed, driver. I felt like I was in a horrible nightmare. My head was spinning with thoughts and my heart was full of new and uncomfortable emotions. Even though I felt like the world had ended, life persisted onward. His burial and funeral came and went and so did many firsts. My first birthday without Dad, my first Christmas without Dad, and even my first year without Dad. With each passing milestone I wondered “why did this happen to me?”

The pain of losing my father was the most difficult experience of my life, but even at that young age I knew that I would not overcome this pain by succumbing to it. Rather than allowing my pain to control my life, I turned my experience into a tool to help other young people like me. For the past five years I have been serving at Braveheart Ministries, a week-long summer can for kids who have lost close friends and family members. At this camp I have helped children work through their grief through genuine love and mentorship. I have cheered these kids on as they overcome their fears by climbing to the top of the rock wall or jumping off the high dive and have also been there for them to be a shoulder to cry on.

Among the losses for children at this camp, there are many children who have lost a parent to a vehicular accident. I have seen up close the real devastation this has caused in kids younger than me. They are just beginning to figure out what life will look like for themselves without their loved one in their lives. The shock of losing someone in an accident like this is almost too much to bear. The act of driving is something we often take for granted that we will always end up at our destination safely. We don’t stop to consider the costs of how the recklessness of others or even ourselves can forever alter the trajectory of other people’s lives. As I have seen and experienced for myself, we are left to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts, broken homes and broken dreams. For children, the devastation is often far reaching, including issues like anxiety, depression, financial burdens, loneliness, drug abuse, or even suicide. Professional counseling is often needed to help kids navigate their lives and learn how to cope with their loss as they grow into adults. I certainly wish that drivers could see for themselves what a camp session looks like when a child is trying to even say the words that their mom was killed in an accident or hear their cries as they try to face the reality set before them.

While I love the Camp Braveheart ministry very much, it is not easy and sometimes I have to fight allowing my own emotions to get in the way of helping these kids. When I am struggling, I always think of my dad and his hard-working nature, always putting others before himself. My dad was the strongest most incredible man I ever knew, and I never saw him back down from a challenge. His tenacity has inspired me to take on the challenge of life and losing him and use it for something great. I know that I have made my dad proud by using my life to serve others just as he did. I will never stop fighting because by carrying on and serving others, my pain now has a purpose.