The Truth About PTSD

“Oh my
god…oh my god…”

I grabbed my
chest in agony as my life was about to change forever. Smoke filled
the air whilst I put the car in park and turned off the ignition.
Even though the car shut down, I took the seat belt off and kicked
open my door. Screams escape me of pure shock as I run to the other
car and call my mom. My chest collapsed into my stomach, my body
shaking uncontrollably.

“I’ve been
in an accident, mom!” I hang up. Only a minute has passed, but
it feels as though it has been an eternity. I sit on the side of the
road, the car totaled, as the sound of sirens fill my ears. I realize
I have no idea what just happened. All I can remember is the
headlights blinding me and the deafening sound of pieces of my car
chipping away. I was lucky. My dad worked only a few miles down the
road, and the nearest hospital was a mile away.

“License and
registration, ma’am.” said one police officer.

“Please
write a statement, ma’am.” said another.

“What
happened here?” the EMS asked.

I wish I had
known, too. Finally, my dad arrives, and we conclude that it was my
fault. I was following traffic and didn’t realize I didn’t have
the left turn green arrow. A simple mistake costed me my car, another
person’s car, and my sanity for months to come. We leave to the
hospital and my family arrives shortly. Sitting in the waiting room,
my head was full of flashbacks. The noises, the lights, the pain all
flooding my thoughts. Every moment I closed my eyes, the image burned
into the backs of them of the accident. In the meantime, my chest
feels like a thousand hot needles were impaling me.

Around 3 A.M, I
am home. The repeated cycle of sleeping aids, nightmares, and fear of
never driving again continued for months and months to come. Yet, I
am thankful. I drove for the first time a few months later, and I
realized the experience made me a more cautious driver. I couldn’t
be a passenger for much later after driving, but I am now more at
ease with the thought of being in a car. Sometimes, the thoughts
strike me again, but this is the hard truth of post-traumatic stress
disorder. It will be easier and easier, but the underlying fear
remains.

“Why is your story so significant?” you may ask. You would be
correct, it isn’t. However, my message is. My message to all
drivers out there who have experienced a trauma like this is to keep
moving forward. Through the trials and tribulations, a lesson is
learned. I learned to be more cautious and to always check more than
once before making a move. Even more than the fundamentals of
driving, I learned how to move past the pain and fears of a car
accident. It will get better.